Dear Lizzytysh, I’m not going to post any more. This latest meltdown of yours is a little disturbing to me. I was going to do a little goof on the whole situation but the more vehement you became the less funny it all seemed. Before this latest battle royale (even when you were at your most dramatic...

Yes. It was a devastating experience.


Mr. Ed

Dear Paula, Try looking under the end zone at Giants Stadium. Dear Linda, Are you perhaps referring to Phil Spector? Dear Lizzytysh, Yes, I have had a few years experience as a server. I think everyone should have to work in the service industry for two years. Sort of a national service. It would be...

02/08/03 Dear Diary, What a day I've had! Things were kinda slow and the boys and I were just standing around moping and complaining about the lack of business and saying how we wished more Americans would eat here because of course the tips are so much better than with the usual lousy French basta...

This poem is a very interesting one to me. But also puzzling. It is very equivocal. "It seemed the better way...It sounded like the truth. It is filled with doubt. "I wonder what it was... I wonder what it meant." The last quatrain is very troubling. Is he trying to cover all the Chri...

From Jesus' discourse to the twelve disciples (right before he sends them out to preach in the villages and towns of Israel) as recorded by St. Matthew. "Do not sparrows sell for a cent apiece? And yet not one of them can fall to the ground without your Father's notice. Even the very hairs on y...

Tolstoy's Happy Lizard


He met a lizard sunning on a rock,
"Are you happy?" he whispered,
"I'm not."

Dear Partisan,


I'm going to assume this is one of your little jokes.


Mr. Ed

There is only one person who qualifies as Forum Person of the Year. It's Lizzytysh, hands down. No one else even comes close. This forum would be nothing without her. Think about it. The reverent devotion, the hushed contemplations, the fiery defenses, the hyperventilating attacks, the confusing log...

The Perfect Contest is over. I regret to say there was no winner. So the grand prize goes unclaimed. The dilemma I now face is whether or not to reveal the answer to the contest. You see, the combination of Mr. Cohen's bass voice (whose main resonant frequency I have calculated to be between three a...

Dear Linda, Great Scott! What have you done? Thanks to your proselytizing your neighbors and friends are doomed. Repeated listening will lead to lethergy and then stupor. Followed by a manic phase in which they will set up their own home studios. And these are only the side effects!! But I'm afraid ...

Dear Lizzytysh,

All in good time.


Sincerely,

Mr. Ed

Dear Miranda, You seem to be a very happy and well adjusted woman. I think that may be the problem. Yes, I'm sure it is. What you need to do is this: First, get really depressed. Then in a darkened room put TNS on the hi-fi. Try to ignore the hypnotic effect of Mr. Cohen's voice and concentrate . Wh...

Dear Linda,


Do not try this at home! TNS and Hot Water Do Not Mix! The results for the planet could be catastrophic!. Leave this to the professionals.



In desperation,


Mr. Ed

Dear Miranda, I congratulate you on your appreciation for TNS. However, I am perfectly serious about the "noise." Herewith a quote from Leanne Unger in the article, "Leonard Cohen: New Songs, New Approach" by Eric Rudolph in Mix magazine. Tracking final vocals in Cohen's home stu...