Trains, Planes, and Automobiles

[Janem]

[quote="Linda"] I think he spends a lot of time in that Jacuzzi with those red needles. quote]

What are red needles, please?

It sounds terribly decadent to leave your hot tub running while recording your music. Unless it's not running empty. I mean, are other people using it while he's recording--friends, neighbors, staff members, musical critics, old poet pals?

-Janem

[lizzytysh]

Right on, Linmag Linda, so do I ~ it is ~ perhaps it's a trained-ear thing ~ and maybe he didn't forget at all .

[linmag]

Janem

Red needle is a drink Leonard invented involving tequila, cranberry juice and (optional) Sprite, I think. Jarkko has the recipe on here somewhere. You will probably find it if you do a search.

[Mr. Ed]

Dear Linda,


Do not try this at home! TNS and Hot Water Do Not Mix! The results for the planet could be catastrophic!. Leave this to the professionals.



In desperation,


Mr. Ed

[Mr. Ed]

Dear Miranda,

You seem to be a very happy and well adjusted woman. I think that may be the problem. Yes, I'm sure it is.

What you need to do is this: First, get really depressed. Then in a darkened room put TNS on the hi-fi. Try to ignore the hypnotic effect of Mr. Cohen's voice and concentrate. When you get to the song on the CD with the background noise, you will notice a sudden and dramatic increase in your serotonin level. I admit this could be dangerous. So, have a good friend with you in case you need someone to talk you down.


Sincerely,

Mr. Ed

[Mr. Ed]

Dear Lizzytysh,

All in good time.


Sincerely,

Mr. Ed

[lizzytysh]

Like when you figure it out, maybe ?

[Linda]

Mr Ed what do I do now? I read this too late! I filled the hot tub (wasn't enough room in the jacuzzi) put Ten New Songs on the stereo, mixed a batch of red needles and called all the neighbors over. Today the hot tubs are all sold out and not a Ten New Songs album to be had for hundreds of miles. What have I done!! I have a feeling it is spreading fast! Is there an antidote? Please hurry!!

[Miranda]

Dear Ed,

I tried but I couldn't get depressed, sorry!
So the experiment was a failure. And now thanks to you I can't get these songs out of my head!


Miranda

[Mr. Ed]

Dear Linda,


Great Scott! What have you done? Thanks to your proselytizing your neighbors and friends are doomed. Repeated listening will lead to lethergy and then stupor. Followed by a manic phase in which they will set up their own home studios. And these are only the side effects!!

But I'm afraid the problem with the "noise" on TNS is really much more serious than I had first supposed. I hesitate to reveal the depth of this crisis on a public forum...as you Linda...in your well-intentioned way may take matters into your own hands and only make things worse.

Please, Linda, DO NOTHING!

In fear and trepidation,


Mr. Ed

[Linda]

Dear Mr Ed,
At your advice I am doing nothing at this time. I am sitting back in my own stupor and watching my neighbors and it seems like it is a good thing that is happening here! They are tidying up their kitchenette and tuning their old banjo, they are not longer fighting an bickering and they are leaving my kitchenette alone. They maybe think they are on Boogie Street! Little do they know what has happened to them, but they seem so content and happy poor miserable souls.

[Mr. Ed]

The Perfect Contest is over. I regret to say there was no winner. So the grand prize goes unclaimed.

The dilemma I now face is whether or not to reveal the answer to the contest.

You see, the combination of Mr. Cohen's bass voice (whose main resonant frequency I have calculated to be between three and seven cycles per second) and the humming 120 cycle tone of the Hot Tub creates an oscillation which if amplified would destroy a small city. This infrasonic disaster could be accomplished by no more than two LC Fans playing the song at the same time within a 90-mile radius of each other. Imagine what could happen if this information and TNS fell into the wrong hands.

Oh, what the heck...It's "Love Itself".

Mr. Ed.