Explosions in London

[Tchocolatl]

More seriously regarding the sexual appetite, Tri-me I second what you have said about the mind and the body. What we are thinking about the situation makes the situation very different and it is the same thing for a person. Those "virgins" are just like camels, here. In ancient Indian culture the lovers were seen as being god and godesse, they were making love having in mind the divine particle in each other, and they were thinking of their selves as well, so they did not do just anything with anybody. This is closer to true respect for oneself and others and both sex that I know.

Now, this is a thing, the self control of men, but the fashion of being dressed very very sexy for the little girls, and even for women in some social occasions, I find it not very suitable. Casual and personal life, is a personal choice, but we also live in society and it is not always time for this. And it is not so kind and smart to make the pavlov-dog to salivate for nothing. I mean as maturity includes sane sexuality, you can forgive to a innocent victim fashion child, but a woman who has not enough kindness or respect, or maturity to understands "laws" of sex, it is poor social ways. It is as abusive as rape, though less violent. To conclude, madonnas are not better than virgins and virgins are not better than madonnas.

Kush, they do, here. Imams here are interviewd and explained themselves for their community. Also, because not all people are blind mute deaf racists, many are going by themselves into the moskée to ask questions. Imams I heard are condaining terrorism of course. This are fragilizing even their communities in other countries. They seems vulnerable, and oh! why it is always nice people that have to pay for the crime of the others?

Annaedith, I really saw this report, the journalist went in places known to be "recruiting spots", he was recruited with few others, and he filmed in secret what was happening. It was dangerous because he could have been killed. Believe me, it does not really matter if it is 72 grapes or kick in the a... because the brain is so washed that they can not make the difference.

Also, remimber that in order to destroy somebody, you must first destroyed his/her humanity. As human being is not perfect one can always find something to "prove" that they are not worth to live.

Have a nice hot summer day, people!

P.S. : Jurica, are you happy or may I have to do better next time?

[lizzytysh]

Dear Bi ~

I'm so sorry to hear of Izabella's passing. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. She also had very strong intuition. She knew she did not have much time to ask for your help, and for you to do everything you needed to meet her needs. I'm so glad that you were so willing, and even creative in your helping her. I hope that in all of your understandable sadness, knowing how much you gave her in this way will bring you some comfort. I know you brought it to her.

I sincerely hope that Leonard's music is bringing you some comfort, as well.

Love,
Elizabeth

[Young dr. Freud]

but a woman who has not enough kindness or respect, or maturity to understands "laws" of sex, it is poor social ways. It is as abusive as rape, though less violent.

Rethink this proposition.



Ydf

[annaedith]

this is an interesting discussion.
tchoco, i think you're right with your opinion that many people in the western countries exaggerate in dressing opposite to the muslim laws. even more, though it may give a feeling of happiness, knowing you're looking good, those hardly ever think about the consequnces. those men that do respond to the naked flesh and the artificially improved body, are this the ones the girls/women would like to have as friends or lovers? and how many parents are afraid of their daughter being raped, yet allow her to go out dressed like cheap women.
but the world is still like this that people are judged on what they look like rahter than their inner qualities.

[Tri-me]

Bee I am sorry to hear of the death of your friend. She was very fortunate to have you close by. You eased her into a very difficult passing, which I feel is an honour. Leonard Cohen's music and poetry really opens up my heart so I can understand your wanting to hear his music.

[lizzytysh]

It's necessary for the record, as well as hopefully promoting understanding, to clarify that rape is a violent crime directly related to power and control, and other dysfunctionalities of the perpetrator, and has nothing to do with the way a woman is dressed. This is a common misconception that I am correcting.

[Byron]

It's necessary for the record, as well as hopefully promoting understanding, to clarify that rape is a crime directly related to power and control, and other dysfunctionalities of the perpetrator, and has nothing to do with the way a woman is dressed. This is a common misconception that I am correcting.

There is a subtle irony in your posting, wherein 'rape' and 'misconception' become very strange bedfellows.

I think the point I am trying to make is that words can be used to paint a picture, but the human emotional response to that vile act, judders right through the body and mind of those who are made aware of it.

'Judders' carrying far more of a jack-hammer metaphorical
resonance than shudders.

And yes, rape is in the act of the rapist and NOT in the clothing of the victim.

[lizzytysh]

Byron ~

You're certainly right in that irony, except in those even more tragic cases where conception does occur.

I have never heard the term "judders," so don't know if it existed prior to your own possible adaptation and reasoning. However, it really does work in just the way you've described.

Thanks for your input on this commonly misunderstood act and its dynamic. As you know, it's one where "Blaming the Victim" is an all-too-common occurrence. I'm always appreciative of your awareness and having had the interest and motivation to study in [what's termed] the field of "women's issues." You always bring a level of insight, understanding, and sensitivity when things of this nature are being discussed. In addition, you know that rape occurs, more frequently than people know, of males, as well.

~ Elizabeth

[annaedith]

you're both very right, of course rape is a criminal thing where only the person raping can be blamed for. however, as men are only a species of animals as well, some of those "reflexes" need a sort of stimulus, and that can be a women dressed very freely. it is common now to walk around in short tshirts and low-cut jeans or short skirts, and i recently read a joke: two old men are talking to each other, and the one says: "women dress very freely nowadays" "oh yes", says the other, "in our times when we saw that much we had nearly made it!"
nobody can prevent a rape by dressing in a certain way, but one should be aware of what you're exressing with your clothing.

[Byron]

The Concise Oxford Dictionary Ninth Edition

judder v. & n. esp Brit.
v. (esp. of a mechanism) vibrate noisily and violently......(imitative:opf SHUDDER)

[lizzytysh]

Dear AnnaEdith ~

It's not the woman's dress that prompts the violent crime. Yes, it is, of course, a violent crime, and the perpetrator is a criminal. However, the 'motive' for the crime is not satisfaction of sexual desire, hence a woman's mode of dress is irrelevant, i.e. that which would create sexual desire. The 'motive' for the crime is to exert power and control ~ hence, victims tend to be those who present as easier to dominate via power and control. Women are cautioned to not walk languidly, looking down; to avoid places where they can be easily trapped; to be always aware of their surroundings; to preferably walk briskly, look around to see who might be thwarted by the fact that you've seen them first; etc. ~ in other words, to not appear to be likely an easy rape victim. Men who wait in dark, parking garages and stairwells are not awaiting the scantily dressed woman. Men who do home invasions and rape elderly women in their beds are not motivated by their victim's luscious look.

There's much information available on the Internet regarding rape myths and facts. Some years ago, I was a sexual assault counselor and the above things I've mentioned are merely off the top of my head. Please check into this subject a little more.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

I've added on here, to mention the many children who are raped each year. Even though it's termed "molestation," to indicate the fact that it's a child who was the victim, the crime is still a rape and what the child is wearing makes no difference to the molester/rapist.

[Paula]

I agree with Lizzie the tendencies are there regardless of what a woman is wearing.

I strongly disagree with the suggestion that men are not capable of controlling their feelings to the extent they are all potential rapists.

[Tchocolatl]

Big confusion here.

This not about hiding beauty and sexy sides of women. Or anything like that.

This is about questioning ourselves of the non sense of being dressed so sexy in any occasion, just because people are fashion victims, and for children that even don't know what adult sexuality is and are dressed like mature women who are supposed to know what they are doing.

This is that non sense I am talking about. I think that this is the same non-sense as hiding a woman.

(Well, thinking about it, it is better to cover the skin from the sun, the more skin as possible, than to expose it to the ultraviolet rays, considering the hole in the ozone layer).

And I did not say that rapes occured because of how a woman is dressed.

In fact the statistics prove that rapes have little to do with how a woman is dressed.

Statistics prove that rapes are violent agressions in search of satisfying a need for control more than for sex, and sometimes out of sheer hatred.

Statistics prove that few women are raped "on the street" by a complete stranger (though it happens too often), comparing to the number of women who are raped by a well known accointance. Very strange statistics, don't you think?

Never forget that men and children of both sex are often raped as well. Only men and children tend not to talk about it, as well as women kept silence in shame about being raped a couple of years earlier.

Now I still say that being dressed very sexy, even as a fashion victim (many group rapes were done by men in a selfihs fashion way, more than for a need for sex or control as well), is selfish, for a woman and it is an act as asocial as a rape, unless there is no violence, there is often a need for control and sometime even hatred.

Really, poor men.... Not all of them are rapists. Many of them would never rape a woman even if she tempted him in all ways just to say no at the last minute.

Here like in any category of human beings, nice people pay for the crimes of the others, all men are accused of being rapists. This is no justice. No justice.

The good sides of men are such a blessing on this Earth.

As well a good sides in women.

Only women have not just good sides, and certainly not just because they are more known to be victims of rapes and violence of men.

I doubt that being selfish and a controller in a woman's way is such a blessing.

I imagine the protest of the friends of animals if some women would have the habit of doing in purpose to show a lunch in front of a dog and then punish it to being hungry.

I know this is a non conformist way of thinking.

The same anticonformist way of thinking pf people who were questioning habits of drinking alcool and smoking non stop all day and night long were seen, some years ago.

This is not like don't do it. This is just like do it smart.

Think about it. Just think about it. A little bit.

[Tchocolatl]

Annaedith, I agree

1) this is common sense : if someone, man or woman is dressed in a way that has a stong social meaning, people will think about this person in the way the person looks.

If a man is dressed like a priest, people will think he is a priest. If a woman is dressed like a judge, people will think she is a judge. If a woman wears sunglasses and walk with a white cane, people will think that she is blind. I a man or a woman is dressed sexy, people will think about sex.

Now the priest is dressed as a priest in the Church, the judge as a judge in a court and the blind wears sunglasses and white can on the street. But woman could be dressed sexy anywhere anytime? Non sense. Casual and personal fields, OK, but the rest, school and working places, I find it non relevant. This is weird. As weird as some men that are going into seduction for nothing.

2) There are things to do or not to do in order of arousing human sexuality. It is very very strange to say that it does not matter if someone is dressed sexy or not, or if it goes into a seducing behavior in not appropriate time and place, in this matter. Very strange. Very very strange. It is like a denial of realities about human sexuality. A rest of puritanism that can not admit human sexuality in all its realities by saying that everything is OK after having said that anything was OK.

[Paula]

Tchoc I agree with both you and Anna on the subject regarding dress. There is a time and place for flimsy clothing. But the men that commit the sort of rapes on the street will have those tendencies regardless of what a woman is wearing and as others have pointed out more rapes are committed by people who are already know to the victim than on the street.

I don't like to see women walking the streets wearing belts for skirts and crop tops and as women we all have to take responsibility for our own safety and part of that responsibility is in the manner of our dress. But youngsters (as we all once were) are fashion victims and the fashion is crop tops, short skirts or low slung trousers with thongs showing. You can tell them all you like about the danger they are putting themselves in but you are talking to a brick wall for the most part. I think my generation was the start of the downfall of morals and dress code and it is a shame.