help needed

This is for your own works!!!
Cate
Posts: 3468
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Re: help needed

Post by Cate »

Geoffrey wrote: You might as well ask how damnation could be poisoned with rainbows.
I think you're skirting the issue.
>Do you know what a butterfly kiss is - do they do that in Norway?

The only people I've seen kiss each other up here are football players when one of them scores a goal, but that is a full frontal smack-on-the-lips kiss.
butterfly kisses are usually exchanged between children but I kinda like the image of those grown soccer men doing that - I can see them now out on the field giggling away.
So your football players kiss each other full on the lips! It's good to see men becoming more comfortable with each other. I'm afraid here in Canada there still seems to be a bit of a stigma in our National pastime game (hockey) about anything that could be perceived as 'gayish'. I don't think players kissing each other on the lips after games would fly here (amongst the players) they'd rather stick to more manly expressions such as; hugging each other very tightly while jumping up and down, patting and grabbing at each others bottoms and of course getting naked with each other and showering themselves with champagne or rather beer.
User avatar
Violet
Posts: 3197
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 11:07 pm
Location: New York

Re: help needed

Post by Violet »

Violet wrote:Oh, wait!!

Life is like Harry's bottom,
trapped in a second-rate pome,
no exit can be found,
until it falls to the hacks at the Forum (!)
Dear Geoffrey (and Cate).. how remiss of me to use the sublime mickey_one's highly specialized term "pome," when I really could have made use of the extra syllable found in the word "poem".. (silly me)..

Life is like Harry's bottom,
trapped in a second-rate poem,
no exit can be found..
until it falls to the hacks at the Forum (!)


.. I thought this one to be bronze worthy, Geoffrey.. now, be of good cheer, rainbows come and go, but damnation lasts forever..

yours in this increasingly tricky what-have-you,
v i o l e t.. (oh, and Cate.. I like your butterfly kiss.. it's sweet, and small, and lovely)..
Violet
shaz
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:20 am
Location: Australia

Re: help needed

Post by shaz »

life is like a butterfly
trapped in the sky
no exit can be found
until it falls to the ( ? )
Last edited by shaz on Wed Mar 24, 2010 2:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Cate
Posts: 3468
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Re: help needed

Post by Cate »

shaz wrote:Good on ya Cate :)
I see you are the voice of reason to prevent that which may be called "treason" ??? ooopppss i am rhyming in cliche's again :)
Hi sorry, I missed this before - just to be clear I don't think I'm a voice of reason against treason, whatever that means :) I was just having fun teasing Marisha, who I like ](don't tell her that though) even though she leaves her panties everywhere :roll: and it had the added benefit of teasing Harry S (who I have a small crush on - don't tell though it's a secret). I tend to agree with Harry when it comes to poetry and critiquing.

I'm also fond of Geoffry xxx - sorry I went off track again, I didn't want Shaz to think I was actually being mean or rude Marisha.


~
Even damnation is poisoned with rainbows,
I'm not sure that I like this line shhhh
I don't understand it
Do you think the man in the story sees his life – marriage, family (took my place in the chain) as damnation and then resents the bits of happiness that comes with it ... or does he just dislike rainbows in general perhaps he prefers the dark and depression, or maybe he doesn’t like the fact that rainbows are just an illusion.


edit note - added note to shaz at top as there is a very good discussion happening below and I don't want to interrupt that.
Last edited by Cate on Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Juan Juanders

Re: help needed

Post by Juan Juanders »

"life is like a butterfly
trapped in the sky
no exit can be found
until it falls to the ( ? )
"

life is like a butterfly
trapped in the sky
no exit can be truly found
until it falls to a rotting mound

Geoffrey, I like your words. I softly nursed two 90+ year old gentlemen to their ends on this mortal coil last week and your words here remind me of the beauty and simplicity of their deaths.

Thank you for posting this
Juan
shaz
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:20 am
Location: Australia

Re: help needed

Post by shaz »

Geoffrey, I like your words. I softly nursed two 90+ year old gentlemen to their ends on this mortal coil last week and your words here remind me of the beauty and simplicity of their deaths.
The perception of this is touching and haunting at the same time. To lose touch with someone you love in life is one thing,
but to die and lose them !! I don't think i have imaginings of there being nothing after that> It is an amazing job you do, and an incredible
sensitivity to it. I am ruined when i lose a cat! The philosophy just does not happen then... You have it.. the acceptance of it, i cannot accept it at all.
I really deeply do think we are to be here forever :roll:
imaginary friend
Posts: 1371
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:09 am
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: help needed

Post by imaginary friend »

Juan wrote:
Geoffrey, I like your words. I softly nursed two 90+ year old gentlemen to their ends on this mortal coil last week and your words here remind me of the beauty and simplicity of their deaths.
How lovely to be 'softly nursed' to the end. If one is ready to go - and many at the age of 90 are – how lucky to be so gently eased along the path. I hope I will be that lucky, Juan

Although please note, I am nowhere near the age of 90!
shaz
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:20 am
Location: Australia

Re: help needed

Post by shaz »

Ta Cate :)

All in good fun i thought from you, and as for critique,
is fine for sure, but i should probably continue to offend,
as i am not that dedicated to the written word :)

Never offense meant, never taken :lol:
The world is but a stage, and we are merely players
The names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent!
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”