Miriam’s Delirium
Did your father promise you he would never die
he would always be there and he would never lie
Did he send you away and leave you alone
Did you hear of his passing over the phone
Did he break his promise to his little helper
to always be there for her and to help her
and did she vow that she would never again
fall victim to the lies in the eyes of all men
His promise will be honored by all men left alive
we are all him, again and again, deep down inside
and whenever we are with you, he is there too
and together we always try to overprotect you
Do we love you so that we would not share you
are we jealous when we see anyone near you
when we get angry, does our temper scare you
and drive away others whom you are dear to
Do we ask you to fill this emptiness inside
then expect something you can not provide
we are all the same, all of us men
breaking the promise again and again
Did your mother leave you as you held his hand
and then you brother went away to a strange land
who could stand to be abandoned again and again
abandoned, forsaken, especially by all of us men
Judah S. Kaminetsky, Tuesday, October 13, 1998
Miriam’s Delirium
Re: Miriam’s Delirium
This touches me in a very odd way this morning, Judah... and that's because last night I dreamt I was becoming slowly involved in a relationship with a man, who both physically and behaviourally resembled my Dad [body type, face, and actions]. He was very steady and calm and supportive and always there. I was trying to resist him, but every time I turned around, he was there being kind and caring. My Dad was that kind of person, but I've never had this kind of dream before. Your poem is so interestingly right on time and touching for me.
~ Lizzy
~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
~ Oscar Wilde
Re: Miriam’s Delirium
fall victim to the lies in the eyes of all men
I like this line
I think you could tighten up the rhythm without much ado.
I like this line
I think you could tighten up the rhythm without much ado.
Re: Miriam’s Delirium
Hi Judah,
I enjoyed this very much.
Like Lizzy it felt quite personal for me.
I received a phone call like that - I bet a lot of us have.
A few days before, from his hospital bed, my Dad told me everything would be fine. He carefully explained what had happened and what they were going to do to fix it. He said, "I am not going to die for a long time". He then, privately told my husband were to find his legal documents. I wasn't a child when it happened but I think your always daddy's little girl aren't you.
Your form and structure seems very tight and very purposeful. Are you using a specific poetry form?
I enjoyed this very much.
Like Lizzy it felt quite personal for me.
I received a phone call like that - I bet a lot of us have.
A few days before, from his hospital bed, my Dad told me everything would be fine. He carefully explained what had happened and what they were going to do to fix it. He said, "I am not going to die for a long time". He then, privately told my husband were to find his legal documents. I wasn't a child when it happened but I think your always daddy's little girl aren't you.
Your form and structure seems very tight and very purposeful. Are you using a specific poetry form?