Buy me a chocolate Jesus

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Cate
Posts: 3468
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Post by Cate »

Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Whisper to me of your savior,
of god and heavenly sins.
Buy me a chocolate Jesus
to melt in my mouth, the spirit
within. Let me consume it,
as I am consuming you.

Tell how he will forgive our sins
if we ask. How convenient
that your faith allows preplanning.
I see now, why you prefer me
on my knees, how did I doubt
your clear religious devotion.

Cate

practicing revisions


The Eucharist/ Communion - revision 2

Whisper of your savior,
how he'll forgive our sin.
Tell me of confession
and where we should begin.
Kneel me on my knees to pray,
a rosary round my wrists.
Wash me in your waters
and bless me with your kiss.
Buy me a chocolate Jesus
and place it in my mouth.
Let it melt inside me, its
ardor trickle down my throat.
Take me to your tabernacle
and lie me on the stone.
Cover me with your body,
in a prayer to the great unknown.

Okay slightly better then the below version -ending still very weak, I'm not sure why N needs to hide at the end though, but i can't seem to move away from that.Still struggling with meter, I'm basically guessing, but I guess that comes with time[/size]


Communion - revision 1

Whisper to me of your savior,
of how he forgives our sins.
Tell me of confession
and where it is we begin.
Kneel me on my knees to pray
a rosary round my wrists.
Wash me in your waters
and bless me with your kiss.
Buy me a chocolate Jesus
then place it in my mouth.
Let it's spirit melt within me
and devourer me of your
clear religious devotion.

(poems a bit dirty, ends a bit choppy - I'll try later and see if I can soften up and smooth out)
Last edited by Cate on Sun Apr 12, 2009 8:53 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Boss
Posts: 1544
Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 1:56 pm
Location: Kookaburra

Re: Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Post by Boss »

Cate,

In 1803 the British Empire, an empire properly Christian,
decided to 'settle' the island now known as Tasmania. At
this time there were 7,000 aborigines. A mere 73 years later,
Truganini, the last full-blood aborigine, died.

Should I fly south and buy their descendants a chocolate Jesus?

Peace,
Boss
'In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer' - Albert Camus
KjeXXXer
Posts: 278
Joined: Sat Jun 09, 2007 4:20 am
Location: Norway

Re: Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Post by KjeXXXer »

As I recall, one European accidetally slew an aboriginal by throwing a rock at his head, and this later became quite a sport for the Europeans.
Now you've got the gist of what my lettuce meant.
Cate
Posts: 3468
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Re: Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Post by Cate »

Boss wrote:Cate,

In 1803 the British Empire, an empire properly Christian,
decided to 'settle' the island now known as Tasmania. At
this time there were 7,000 aborigines. A mere 73 years later,
Truganini, the last full-blood aborigine, died.

Should I fly south and buy their descendants a chocolate Jesus?

Peace,
Boss
Thank you for what you wrote - I didn't know this.
There was a page about her on Wikipedia. What a hard life she led, I can't even imagine what it must feel like to be the last of your entire culture. Last night my older son told my younger son not to do something because he might die. My younger son looked up a him and asked with great seriousness "no more me?". As I read Truganini's story, I wondered what it would feel like to know that your own death meant not only - no more me - but also - no more us.

Cate

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truganini
Steven
Posts: 2140
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 12:32 am

Re: Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Post by Steven »

History is rife with Christian populace and their clergy showing their "love" by
massacring unbelievers. The "chocolate Jesus," brings to mind the eucharist
and lots of people were slain because of fabricated "wafer killings." God
save us from many of the so-called "godly" and while he's at it, let him save
them from their intolerance and meanness.
carol-ann
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:49 am

Re: Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Post by carol-ann »

Cate wrote:Whisper to me of your savior,
of god and heavenly sins.
Buy me a chocolate Jesus
to melt in my mouth, the spirit
within. Let me consume it,
as I am consuming you.
Cate I like the first verse best, it is so sensuous in the way it uses words like 'heavenly sins', 'melt' and 'consume' (a play on consummation?). You lose me in the second verse, I'm not sure what you are trying to say.

Do you know the Tom Waits song, 'Chocolate Jesus'?
Image
Carol
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Boss
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 1:56 pm
Location: Kookaburra

Tell the world about Aboriginal Australia

Post by Boss »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7cbkxn4G8U

...not much chocolate there
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blonde madonna
Posts: 984
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What's this got to do with chocolate Jesus?

Post by blonde madonna »

the art of longing’s over and it’s never coming back

1980 -- Comedy Theatre, Melbourne
1985 -- State Theatre, Melbourne
2008 -- Hamilton, Toronto, Cardiff
2009 -- Rochford Winery, Yarra Valley
2010 -- Melbourne
2013 -- Melbourne, The Hill Winery, Geelong, Auckland
Cate
Posts: 3468
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Re: Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Post by Cate »

carol-ann wrote: Cate I like the first verse best, it is so sensuous in the way it uses words like 'heavenly sins', 'melt' and 'consume' (a play on consummation?). You lose me in the second verse, I'm not sure what you are trying to say.

Do you know the Tom Waits song, 'Chocolate Jesus'?
Carol
Hi Carol-ann,

Yes, I know the Tom Waits song - I like it quite a bit. There is a video response to it on you tube by a ministers daughter who makes chocolate deities. I was fascinated by the thought of actually consuming such an item. I had a pre-poem of this posted in little things.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rfls0bE3rWM&watch_response
carol-ann
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:49 am

Re: Buy me a chocolate Jesus

Post by carol-ann »

Hi Cate
It was interesting to see a Christian perspective on this. Chocolate is a beautiful thing. The man buying a 'Virgin Mary' for a devout Catholic, what should she do with it? Eat it slowly. :D
Carol
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