leonardcohenforum.com

As I hunted You down, like a God!

I have found your hiding place
There! In the depths of my soul,
I went wild
To my wilderness-
I went out hunting you
And by chance, you snared me!

I have found your hiding place,
There! in the depths of wildness,
Soul
You embraced me, there!

We flickering two
The stammering cavernous Us.

I found your hiding place
You devoured my all
As I sniffed you out,

As I hunted You down, like a God!


Matj

Hi Mat,

Accept my compliments on what I take to be a terrific poem. If you are up to
an editing suggestion, I'd ask you to consider changing "And by chance" to
something like "And as it happened." Chance is capricious and depth traditions
(of which this poem is consistent with) hold that a "seeking with all one's heart,"
etc., will yield a finding. So, substituting the "chance" to an absolute seems
more congruent to me. This poem is a "keeper." Thanks for posting it.

There! in the depths of wildness,
Soul
You embraced me, there!

that is perfect the way it is
i wouldnt change the wording in any way

raw honest feeling

1. On a dark night, Kindled in love with yearnings—oh, happy chance!—
I went forth without being observed, My house being now at rest.

2. In darkness and secure, By the secret ladder, disguised—oh, happy chance!—

I suppose, Steven, these words of Cruz (Dark Night of the Soul) were rolling around in my mind while I was writing of that moment in my poem above.
I am happy with the word "chance". I feel lucky. In a way, my poem is a bit of a salut to Cruz.
"Chance" is good.
"capricious"?? Capriciousness is OK too, as life is rather flighty and unpredictable


Thanks for your warm, constructive feedback.

Matj

Mat,

I understand now why you are "happy with the word 'chance.' " Choosing to
be true to your experience over form, is a great thing to see in a poet
and otherwise.