leonardcohenforum.com

What's the use in turning round
Carrying worries on my back
Life becomes a burden
Like a heavy sunset falling down
I've been around so long
Life's got me on the run

I left you internally
Barren and infertile
Pregnant with desire

I gave you storm when you needed calm
I gave you rain when you needed fire

Turned around and you were gone

You left me
Pregnant with desire

I gave you hope
When you needed faith
I gave you calm when you needed storm
I gave you fire when you needed rain

I left you
Pregnant with desire

Externally cold and exposed
Looking for somewhere to hang guilt
Someone to lighten the load
Wanting to escape
Screaming to be heard
Vanish into the distance
Like an evening sun
Disappearing beneath the road

Like life on the run

I gave you a sinner
When you needed a saint
I gave you a minute
When you wanted an hour
I gave you a funeral
But forgot the choir

I left you
Pregnant with desire

Regrets for things undone
For words lost in silence
Sorry
For no goodbye

I gave you life
But not love
I gave my body
With no mind
I gave you present
But no future
You wanted commitment
I wasn't sure

No reassurance nor one last dance
No appointment or one last chance
No smile or stolen glance
Just disappointment
And no romance

You yearned for passion and lust
I gave you suspicion and mistrust

Covering tracks with footsteps turned to dust

No security
Only doubt
No sincerity
Only hurt
Abandoned a love ready to burst

You needed strength
But I was weak

I gave you storm when you needed calm
I gave you rain when you needed fire

I left you pregnant with desire

I gave you nightmares
When you searched for dreams
I didn't give you room
When you needed space

Instead of comfort I gave you pain
Not for revenge or regret
Just escape

Laying burdens down
No use in turning round
Just carry sunshine on your back

I gave you storm when you needed calm
I gave you rain when you needed fire

You left me

Pregnant with desire.

Phil,

It’s refreshingly unusual to read a poem written from the reflective perspective of the person who feels they were the one who caused the hurt, rather than from the perspective of the one who feels they are the injured party. Although, by admitting one’s failings, one is also admitting that in the long run perhaps they hurt themselves just as much, as you so eloquently say at the end “You left me / / Pregnant with desire.”

I like the alternation between short, medium and longer verses and phrases, the repetition of ideas, but in reverse order and the contrast between water and fire.

I have one question. In the last ‘rain/storm/fire’ sequence at the end, did you intend to
say?:

I gave you storm when you needed fire [this line doesn’t quite feel right]
I gave you rain when you needed fire

Sherry

Hi Phil ~

Is this composed with thoughts of music, as well? The refrains seem to suggest that. I've 'listened' to it from that perspective and would enjoy hearing it sung.

I agree, too, with Sherry's comment about your writing from the position of the one who did the hurting... and lost. One of those 'too much, too late' situations ~ saying 'too little . . . ' just wouldn't fit the bill with this one.


~ Lizzy

Sherry wrote:Phil,

It’s refreshingly unusual to read a poem written from the reflective perspective of the person who feels they were the one who caused the hurt, rather than from the perspective of the one who feels they are the injured party. Although, by admitting one’s failings, one is also admitting that in the long run perhaps they hurt themselves just as much, as you so eloquently say at the end “You left me / / Pregnant with desire.”

I like the alternation between short, medium and longer verses and phrases, the repetition of ideas, but in reverse order and the contrast between water and fire.

I have one question. In the last ‘rain/storm/fire’ sequence at the end, did you intend to
say?:

I gave you storm when you needed fire [this line doesn’t quite feel right]
I gave you rain when you needed fire

Sherry

now edited to read as it should

I also like how this finished up. I could hear this as a song sung deep into the night by some troubadour in a smokey bar somewhere. I'd think LC could have sung this well many years ago

Phil

lizzytysh wrote:Hi Phil ~

Is this composed with thoughts of music, as well? The refrains seem to suggest that. I've 'listened' to it from that perspective and would enjoy hearing it sung.

I agree, too, with Sherry's comment about your writing from the position of the one who did the hurting... and lost. One of those 'too much, too late' situations ~ saying 'too little . . . ' just wouldn't fit the bill with this one.


~ Lizzy

Lizzy

see my response above

This will be performed as a song someday I'm sure

Phil

You're right, Lizzy. I can definitely see it as a song, although
I hadn't thought of it until you mentioned it.

Phil, it looks looks much better with the edit. What a difference
one small word can make!

Sherry

I also like how this finished up. I could hear this as a song sung deep into the night by some troubadour in a smokey bar somewhere. I'd think LC could have sung this well many years ago

Yes... it has that feeling .


~ Lizzy

Hello Phil.

May I suggest that one of the 'needed' in the final two lines be replaced with 'craved for.' ?

Byron

i'll put thought into that