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I think it's some type of requirement when learning to write poetry.


Earthshine (first draft)


Earthshine on the sunless side of the moon.
A glimpse of what we should not see.
'It's beautiful' you murmur and hold your
gaze longer than I would have expected,
before refocusing on the task at hand.
Tell me lover, if that light were to fall
on me, would I remain beautiful as well.


Last week the moon was just a sliver - light from the sun was reflecting from the earth unto the moon so that the whole sphere was gently lit - it was really very beautiful.

edited to make slight change to last line then changed it back again

Cate: I think it's some type of requirement when learning to write poetry.


Earthshine (first draft)


Earthshine on the sunless side of the moon.
A glimpse of what we should not see.
'It's beautiful' you murmur and hold your
gaze longer than I would have expected,
before refocusing on the task at hand.
Tell me lover, if that light were to fall
on me, would I remain beautiful as well.

Last week the moon was just a sliver - light from the sun was reflecting from the earth unto the moon so that the whole sphere was gently lit - it was really very beautiful.

Very nice. And.. I think you may be right - the moon stays with us through our lifetimes - we can't help but write about it.

You are right, yes, we all must write of the moon. But thank you for not calling its light 'milk.' I've grown mildly tired of that lovely comparison.

I thought yours might be an invitation or a challenge. Shall we write freshly of the moon?

My thread title does sound a bit like a command doesn't it? I'm just well aware that people are tired of moon poems, but this one is my first and you should always try everything at least once, although some would say four times.

Manna wrote:I thought yours might be an invitation or a challenge. Shall we write freshly of the moon?

Yes - let's make it a challenge to write freshly of the moon. Should we start a new thread and do we need any rules i.e. no mentioning dairy products?

Moon Moon go away.
Come again some other day.
Malady's "in that way".
Wink.

(<5sec)

Hi Cate,

I see you on the dark side of the moon. I also frequently notice the moon and find it's beauty inspiring, and different with each encounter. Riding a bike at night is perfect I think when the moon is full and there's a clear sky. Every time I see the moon floating broken on the open sea I think of Sing Another Song Boys.

I have written very few poems in my time, but once on this forum I did write a poem with a moon in it. It starts and finishes with a pallindrome:

The starting pallindrome: Pagan I, deified in a gap.
The ending pallindrome: dog's moor rooms god

It's about Dartmoor, a very fine area of southwest England where many of the rocks have big gaps/clefts. Conan Doyle wrote Hound of the Baskevilles there, hence the 'dog's moor' reference.

Pagan I

Pagan I, deified in a gap,
my palindrominous abode.
A cleft in the Rock of Eden
houses my nomadic longing.
A howl plays backwards, the moon falls,
I am lost, and the dog's moor rooms god.

I guess I re-title it, 'The Moon Falls', for the purpose of this thread.

These posts belong, it seems to me, on the lunatic fringe .

I like implicit moons more.

i did this a few years ago, and never carried through. (and now i see i ruined a good idea.)

That's got a lot of impact, Greg. Implicit moon? Maybe the intricate blue figure lying on the ground is the wreckage, with the moon shining on it. Nice one, anyhow.

Diane wrote:
Pagan I

Pagan I, deified in a gap,
my palindrominous abode.
A cleft in the Rock of Eden
houses my nomadic longing.
A howl plays backwards, the moon falls,
I am lost, and the dog's moor rooms god.

I guess I re-title it, 'The Moon Falls', for the purpose of this thread.

Hi Diane - that's so clever!
"A howl plays backwards, the moon falls" - great line,
a perfect fit for the theme of your poem.

I want to try it too - seems tricky though - might take me a while.

Cate

Hi Greg - Wow!

That's quite an image it stirs many things at once.
To me the blue figure on the ground looks like a flower thats opened - but the way it's lying it looks like it's dying, and although the words say that 'a heavy burden has been lifted...' the image of the man resembles someone that razor blades should be kept away from. Would the implicit moon be the light coming in from hole in the clouds (I think they're clouds maybe it's the top of a cave)
I'm curious if the man is reading the words - if he wrote the words or if he's completely separate.
humm is the moonlight, lighting the words for the man to read?

Have a good night,
Cate

Moon Moon go away.
Come again some other day.
Malady's "in that way".
Wink.

Dark chocolate and tell her she's beautiful - should do the trick, if not just keep ducking.

Hi Cate. Thanks! I look forward to your palindromic poem. You can google for a list of palindromic words, but yes, stringing something together that makes sense is quite tricky.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix: ... omic_words

that star
on your forehead
is as out of place as
a day moon

(6 seconds. Greg wins.)

Moon shine oh moonshine
as sweet as you flow
My head spins not around you
But deep in my soul

4 seconds

He mooned I swooned but
caught it on my cell phone
now night or day, he calls
I smile at white roundness

<a tacky 10 secs>