I'll not love again

This is for your own works!!!
Casey Butler
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Casey Butler »

One summer a long time ago when we were caretaking at a boys camp in Porteau Cove, BC, we raised a nest of baby Crows. We fed them cat food that had been soaked in water. You would scratch at the edge of the nest and these four little heads would shoot up with huge open mouths, then basically swallow your finger as they tried to get the cat food off of it.

Anyway, what brought that to mind was a flock of Crows that came to beg food when we stopped at the seawall in the town of Depoe Bay. They wouldn't eat out of my hand, but they were really friendly and came within a foot or so to pick up pieces of the molasses cookies I was giving them. One stood still for a portrait:

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There was an amazing one that was part albino, with white feathers on its wings and tail. I didn't get a clear shot of it though, because I gave it a big chunk of a cookie and he took it elsewhere to dine.
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Just on the rocks below the seawall there were these Black Oystercatchers, which were close enough for E to see. She was screeching she was so excited, they were Life Listers...
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I have to figure out why the yellow legs washed out. I've done something adjusting the camera and today most light stuff lit by sunlight washed out.

Here are some very cool waves I caught today while trying to get a photo of the Sea Lions we saw:
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Here is the best photo of a Sea Lion I managed:
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We spotted this spout thing while going around a corner. As the waves came in the water was forced through holes in the rocks creating a geyser effect:
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A rock, in the same cove where we saw the Sea Lions, covered with Seagulls and Pelicans:
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A view north, the Sea Lion cove is the one where the lighthouse is:
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Another lighthouse:
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This one section of the highway had streets named after states... I was reading them to see how many they had. I read "Idaho St", "Colorado St", "Washingon St", "Oregon St", "California St"... etc... then amongst them I saw a funny street sign that caused me to turn around to get a photo of it, nearly killing us both in the process (but not too nearly):
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A practically cloudless day today, so the sunset was a little plain, but here it is from two places:
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After the sun was down (note the far away ship on the horizon):
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A beautful day! :-)

Casey
Casey Butler
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Casey Butler »

Another beautiful day, we got into California and saw a few redwoods. But... After trying to get the connection going at the motel here I discovered that the power supply for this little netbook has stopped functioning. So I have 18% of my battery left, not enough to process all the pictures we took today. I'll have to figure out something like transferring PSP to E's laptop and using that tomorrow night,

But I did the sunset for you, Violet... :-)

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Until tomorrow... Wish me luck finding a power supply locally. That would be ideal.

Casey
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Violet
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Violet »

Hi Casey..

.. you know, this could be Georges.. in his black crow nagual mode.. He’s made himself quite scarce these days, but maybe he’s keeping an eye on me.. when he’s not up to whatever it is he gets up to in those dankish Irish regions, that is..
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… this combination of translucent sea green and the deepest ocean blue caught my eye…

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… and this geyser seems mystical.. as if some hallowed form might appear to us, maybe.. just there.. in the midst of all that white steam.. Actually.. I think I see there a headless woman spirit.. she's wearing a white gown, and has her hands on her hips, as if to say: "show me".. (or maybe she's concealing something behind her back).. hmm.. who is she? I wonder.. You know, there may even be a skeleton crouched in front of her, looking out at us as he makes a fist.. (his scull just at her pubic bone).. (I just thought of that "sex and death" theme, though I don't believe I've talked about that on this particular thread)..

.. oh, by the way, good luck with finding a local power supply, Casey.. speaking of.. shouldn't God be obliging in that?.. what, with your mission 'n all?..

... Okay, well, I’m sure I posted this before somewhere, but weren’t these gals just heavenly?.. and in Belfast, no less.. such an historic occasion..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDemnguR ... playnext=1
FULL SCREEN…

… of course, this isn’t Sex God Leonard this time, but Leonard, the writer-composer of this timeless prayer.. I had it playing once (on auto repeat), with his own voice singing it, as I wrote an entire screenplay.. if I ever make the film I’d have the song end the movie..

I always wonder at the lines: “in our rags of light, all dressed to kill”.. It’s stunningly beautiful, the violence not at all expected.. Is it meant to conjure the angels who deliver us unto death?.. (and does that explain who our geyser woman is?)..
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If it be your will 

That I speak no more 

And my voice be still 

As it was before 

I will speak no more 

I shall abide until 

I am spoken for 

If it be your will 


If it be your will 

That a voice be true 

From this broken hill 

I will sing to you 

From this broken hill 

All your praises they shall ring 

If it be your will 

To let me sing 


From this broken hill 

All your praises they shall ring 

If it be your will 

To let me sing 



If it be your will 

If there is a choice 

Let the rivers fill 

Let the hills rejoice 

Let your mercy spill 

On all these burning hearts in hell 

If it be your will 

To make us well 



And draw us near 

And bind us tight 

All your children here 

In their rags of light 

In our rags of light 

All dressed to kill 

And end this night 

If it be your will 


If it be your will.
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As for myself, I feel weak willed right now. I know I need to be strong and focused, and that I need to work very hard.. but my heart keeps leaning toward some dire impossibilities.. things I no doubt need to let go of if I am to survive, let alone succeed..
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.. perhaps it’s the house of my longing that needs to be boarded up for a while.. it’s a very lonely house.. yet there are days when it’s as if.. well, it’s as if the rivers fill.. and the hills rejoice… but as to just when these moments may occur.. well..

I think that Leonard’s song speaks of the hope for a God that is merciful.. I also possess such a hope, as I stand upon my own broken hill.. also praying..

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.. that it be God’s will.. to make us well..
v i o l e t (flower)..






(edits.. I keep returning here tonight.. tweaking things)..
Last edited by Violet on Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:33 am, edited 7 times in total.
Violet
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Violet
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Violet »

.








.. okay.. didn't plan on posting again today, but.. well, let me back up a minute..

.. I admit that the only thing that drew me to this video were the purple flowers in the background.. you see, Casey, I was merely doing my “God” research on youtube.. (just a typical night, in other words, in violet flower’s sad little secret life).. and there it was.. (I can’t believe this woman’s name is Christine Breese, by the way)..

The Dark Night of the Soul.. No Man’s Land.. a place of non-understanding.. where, paradoxically, you may feel you have less interest in humanity than you did before you started seeking a spiritual path, shall we say (though this doesn’t quite sound like me, for reasons I’ll get to later).. It's a time of less ambition to live one’s life (Christine says).. when you’re really just wanting to leave.. (this is sounding very very familiar).. And, well.. (according to Ms. Breese).. this is indeed the Dark Night of the Soul.. when you just can’t find that breakthrough..

.. remember, Casey, I mentioned a long time ago now.. the darkness before the dawn?.. well..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW6g6zne ... 887&kw=god
FULL SCREEN..

.. okay.. as a bit of a disclaimer.. I have NO idea who this woman is, and what her University of Metaphysical Sciences is neither.. don’t know.. and as I’ve said before, I’m not much of a group person, a joiner, or a follower (or a “path” person).. so.. just to mention that, since who knows if this some sort of culty thingy.. (which is not my sort of thing, in other words.. nor thingy)..

NONETHELESS.. for now.. this woman's message might be helpful.. It may well be time to wait, Christine tells us.. (that is, if you feel at all like what's been described so far).. It’s to arrive at that place after the old and before the new.. it's that abyss, perhaps, that I was talking about.. well.. perhaps..

.. oh, she says the cosmic joke is that there is no path.. or that you needed no particular path all along.. (so, path finders beware)..

Anyway, this Christine person promises that when the dawn finally comes one feels refreshed and ready.. but that in the meantime.. while in the doldrums (named, she says, after some place in the Pacific where ships get stuck with no wind.. just sit there for days and days without moving) (.. I didn’t know that, actually.. though.. when in doubt, always think nautical, I always say).. now... where was I?.. oh, that when in the doldrums, one should just rest there.. here, in other words.. rest, and wait.. there’ll be a lot to do later (Christine assures us), once one has moved out of this stasis, as it were.. so best just to rest here, and wait..

.. Could this be what I’ve been suffering from this past.. oh.. year-and-half, I’d say??.. (she didn’t mention the weeping part, however.. I’ve had to succumb to a lot of weeping, for some reason..).. Anyway, maybe that’s what this has all been about, and the purple flowers this Christine person is standing in front of are just the Universe's way of getting me to realize this.. so.. wow.. maybe I’ve just been experiencing the Dark Night of the Soul, Casey.. (silly me.. and I thought it was something serious)..

Oh, and.. speaking of a non joiner.. thought I’d add here a John Lennon song I’ve never heard before titled “God,” appropriately enough.. I guess I'm pretty much getting what he's saying, although I might have to draw the line at Elvis (which I guess would involve the “kings” line too)..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wv3ic6OOXns
FULL SCREEN…

GOD.. by John Lennon

God is a concept
By which we can measure
Our pain,
I'll say it again,
God is a concept,
By which we can measure
Our pain,
I don't believe in magic,
I don't believe in I-ching,
I don't believe in bible,
I don't believe in tarot,
I don't believe in Hitler,
I don't believe in Jesus,
I don't believe in Kennedy,
I don't believe in Buddha,
I don't believe in mantra,
I don't believe in Gita,
I don't believe in yoga,
I don't believe in kings,
I don't believe in Elvis,
I don't believe in Zimmerman,
I don't believe in Beatles,
I just believe in me,
Yoko and me,
And that's reality.
The dream is over,
What can I say?
The dream is over,
Yesterday
I was dreamweaver,
But now I'm reborn,
I was the walrus,
But now I'm John,
And so dear friends,
You just have to carry on,
The dream is over.


.. so.. while hanging out here in these here doldrums.. with John, and Christine (oh, and Yoko too, it seems).. just thought I’d rest up with something that’s real easy on the eyes.. (and ears).. (and that gives me something to believe in too.. at least for now).. (until the King's second coming, that is)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq68VXaYs_Q
FULL SCREEN..
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.. signing off, from the dark night of the soul..
v i o l e t (flower).. and yes.. could use some nice relaxing tea too, while I await the new dawn..
Violet
imaginary friend
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by imaginary friend »

Dear Vi,

John L. has pretty much summed up my attitude to religion in that song, but if there is ONE thing that I do believe:

The ARE paths. There ARE cracks. Maybe not signs or 'divine' intervention, but paths and cracks, yes. We may not see the paths clearly, we may not see them at all. They may not be wide ones congested with herds of one kind or another – in fact we may make them up ourselves; they may be unique, or imaginary. But every day we choose them. Even people who make the decision to end their life are stepping out on a path of sorts. So as Don Juan put it: 'Choose the path with heart'. Easier said than done, especially in fog or rain!

Oh yes – and I do believe in Leonard; in the flesh and in the fog and on the forum (where he moves in mysterious ways ;-))
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Violet
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Violet »

Hi I.F.,

Thanks for checking in.. I do agree that we forge our own paths as we go along.. I guess I meant the kind of paths that are more prescribed than that.. I've never been good at following that sort of path, is what I meant.. Still, anything works that works.. If I could be disciplined enough to meditate everyday, who's to say, it might be very helpful.. but so far.. well.. haven't gotten down to it as yet..

As for Leonard.. I like that you say he works here in mysterious ways.. It is a comfort somehow thinking of Leonard as the overseer here, even if only in spirit.. I mean, even if he never actually checks in over here..

.. hmm.. I guess Casey never got hooked up..

.. anyway, I'm tired.. just thought I'd say hey..

'til later,
v i o l e t


edit.. never mind..
Last edited by Violet on Sun Dec 13, 2009 12:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
Violet
Casey Butler
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Casey Butler »

Just got home to Hurricane. It's colder in the desert we moved to to be warm than it was anywhere we went on the trip. The water is frozen even. I didn't find a power supply, and E's laptop was too slow (shhhh...), I don't think power supplies are guaranteed by God to work - even on "missions". I'm disheartened you didn't remember my jet contrails remark. And I'm not absolutely certain of anything I say regarding God anyway... I'd figure that would be clear and not something I'd have to keep repeating over and over. But I know you're busy... :-)

I have several days worth of photos to catch you up on though! I'm downloading them now but I won't post until tomorrow or so. I just wanted to let you know we're alive. Even Munchkin the Ferret survived the trip okay.

Thanks for the messages, I'll read them all the way through tomorrow.

Casey
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Violet
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Violet »

Hi Casey.. I'm glad you made it home safely.. I did have a moment there where I thought.. oh, no.. a mud slide or something.. but I nixed that idea.. still, this thread has me thinking this way, it seems...

I will look up your jet contrails remark again.. (geez)..

.. but I'm tired.. just glad you're both back home, safe and sound,
v i o l e t.. (f l
ow
e
r)
Violet
Casey Butler
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Casey Butler »

I will look up your jet contrails remark again.. (geez)..
Well, it would be helpful, oh wise one.

:-)

Casey
Casey Butler
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Casey Butler »

Still working on those photos from the last two days of our trip. Meanwhile, we went out today while the cold air is still here to get some snow photos for you, same landscapes sort of, but different layers...

The sunflower field:
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Snowy mountains St George way...
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Molly's Nipple:
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Pine Mountains and the Cinder Cone with the aquafir beneath it...
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Sand Hollow Reservoir...
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Molly's Nipple from a more bovine viewpoint...
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The Cinder Cone with the aquafir beneath it:
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The Virgin River Bend as a winter scene...
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Smithsonian Butte scene in winter...
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Up in Zion... A deer eating from a tree...
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From the Bridge of Perfect Photography, a winter seen...
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Today's sunset zoomed in on...
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At least it got to 34 today, so the water unfroze itself. :-)

Casey
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Violet
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Violet »

.. Oh, winter!
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.. God, methinks, likes it cold, and chiseled, and blue.. up over yonder..

I looked up this contrails business (and read some of our Thread Past, as it were, too).. but I'm not sure what you meant, or mean.. you mentioned the wind.. but still, you'll have to rephrase what you mean by bringing this up again, as I'm not getting that too well..

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.. this is just so lovely.. it's getting biting cold in these city parts too..

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.. oh, so sweet.. just in time for Christmas..
v i o l e t
Violet
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Violet »

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Hi Casey.. I just woke up a while ago, having been dreaming a winter scene.. I was on a road.. like the bend in this river, a winding road.. riding in some kind of vehicle, though it was rather like a dream, where I wasn't aware what I was riding in.. here's the powerful part.. all of the trees in the dream were pine trees.. blue spruce, and other kinds of evergreens.. and all of them were so burdened by the snow they were lying "face down" upon the white ground.. what I mean is, if they were human, they'd be lying down with their faces in the snow, and with the snow almost covering them like a heavy winter blanket.. so their trunks were bent, and all of this heavy snow was bearing down on them, though their branches were peeking through... one after another, a sleeping pine I passed.. and fairly large ones too, that shouldn't have been so burdened by the snow fall..

.. perhaps our Christine person (of the video a few posts back) is right.. perhaps this is the Dark Night of the Soul.. at least, where I'm concerned.. and when the metaphorical, or even actual spring comes, there will be a kind of t
hawing.. and the Sun.. the mind's clarity.. will return.. and I'll have been nurtured by this time of relative darkness.. coldness.. and sleep..
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v i o l e t...
Violet
Casey Butler
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by Casey Butler »

It warmed up here for a couple of days but it was snowing/raining and heavily overcast. Today it all broke up with another wonderfully clouded sky...

About the last two or three days of the trip: We took a couple of thousand photos during the whole thing, and I'm going through from the beginning to make a sort of online scrapbook for E. When I'm done I'll pick a few from those last few days to post, as we ended up going to San Francisco, driving up and downtown streets, while E was taking photos out the car passenger window. Since she couldn't really see what she was taking except in a general sort of outline way, they came out pretty good! I thought you might find them interesting, anyway, but it's taking a while so be patient. :-)

The wind only appears still, see... actually its in the photos now, in case you haven't noticed. Ever since that "Palace of Caesar" episode at the LC concert I've been keeping my aces up my sleeve, so to speak, waiting for the right moment to play one.

Here are today's cool cloud photos... First northwards of Toquerville:
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Westward of northern Hurricane and the Pine Mountains:
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There's a Hawk story I should tell here, about why I turned up I-15 towards Cedar City today, but you don't seem impressed by Hawk stories... Okay, if you insist. Well, just as I was approaching the exit that went up to I-15, this Hawk flew right in front of Silver, coming towards us. He kind of hesitated over the middle of the junction there, then drifted over to above the I-15 entrance ramp (did I mention, I stop for Hawks when they act like this, so he had time to act thusly).

So I went up that way though I hadn't planned to (it's fun to do this when possible) and got these of Toquerville Mountain, west side:
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This one is of the east side of the Pine Mountains up there:
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This is a poor photo of a different Hawk I spotted before I turned around and tried the above:
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Finally I returned to Hurricane Mesa for the sunset, which may not have been the best location because it limits the view, but I figured it would be high enough to overcome the Hurricane Cliff effect:
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"I just believe in me... Yoko and me...". That's a gem. :-)

Speaking of trees, I have a few pics of the Redwoods we saw in the works too. Nice dream...

Casey
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Re: I'll not love again

Post by imaginary friend »

Casey,
Thank you for the splendid photos (Oh I know they are for Violet, but she won't mind sharing...)


Violet,
Your dream gave me goosebumps. I'm glad you were safe in the vehicle, as you traversed through those burdened trees. Maybe the vehicle is your courage V. I'm also glad the trees weren't broken, just bent with the weight; which (as you said) will disappear when the winter is over... and it will be, eventually. So much crap has gone down this year, it's no wonder people are half buried... poop – I always feel blue at this time of year.
Casey Butler
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Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:53 pm

Re: I'll not love again

Post by Casey Butler »

Re the snow dream...

This is a part of LC's songs I've never gotten, all the references to ice and cold as a kind of spiritual state. Maybe I'm undergoing LC's version of the Seventh Plague, ie. getting plastered by hail stones weighing as much as a talent, which, being interpreted the way certain songs feel, would mean getting the spiritual crap kicked out of you (so to speak).

Now to me ice is just frozen water, thus these hail stones weighing as much as a talent represented such a mass of knowledge of God as to change the way we think, etc...

Anyway, back to the art of dying spiritually profiled... :-)

Casey
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