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I´ve sang the Finnish translation of this a few times on stage and it seems to work every time
from Why Don´t You Try:

I'd like to take you take you to the ceremony, 
well, that is if I remember the way. 
You see Jack and Jill they're going to join their misery, 
I'm afraid it's time for everyone to pray. 
You can see they've finally taken cover, 
they're willing, yeah they're willing to obey. 
Their vows are difficult, they're for each other, 
so let nobody put a loophole, a loophole in their way.

and an other one of my favorites, rather dark humor from The Captain:

"There is no decent place to stand 
In a massacre; 
but if a woman take your hand 
go and stand with her." 
"I left a wife in Tennessee 
and a baby in Saigon -- 
I risked my life, but not to hear 
some country-western song."

AP

"my very close companion, she's an angel of compassion, she's rubbing half the world against her thigh"

"you were the father of modern medicine, and i was mr clean, you were the whore and the beast of babylon, and i was rin tin tin..."

has someone done...

''you were K-Y jelley, and I was vasoline?'

please forgive me if they did

"I lit a thin green candle, to make you jealous of me. But the room just filled up with mosquitos, they heard that my body was free" ...
Hello everyone, as I am new to the forum, this is my first ever post! Just wanted to mention it...

Hi Womanfromaroom ~

Your screen name should make you Marianne... however, I 'spect that's not so . Welcome to the Forum . I've always loved the particular phrasing you've chosen, its humour and its meaning. I agree with the others here, as well; just haven't been adding my own. Leonard's songs are filled with it .


~ Lizzy

Hi Lizzy,
yes, you are right - perhaps I should have called myself "Womanfromaroombutnotmarianne"; but that might have taken things a bit too far...
You are right: The songs are all full of humorous lines that at the same time are really charged with meaning; and these wonderful dialectics of wit are probably not the least important reason for many of us to have become a fan (and joined this forum), I suppose! (Especially seeing that you quote Oscar Wilde...)

"Womanfromaroombutnotmarianne"; but that might have taken things a bit too far...

It seems it was enough to honour Marianne through your choice of screen name . I just couldn't resist teasing you .

The songs are all full of humorous lines that at the same time are really charged with meaning; and these wonderful dialectics of wit are probably not the least important reason for many of us to have become a fan (and joined this forum),

Excellent point!

(Especially seeing that you quote Oscar Wilde...)

I wish I could take credit for knowing it was Oscar, via already being familiar with and endorsing his writings... however, when I chose that for my quote, I had no idea it was him. I just loved the quote. Eventually, I learned it was him who deserved the credit... and added his name .


~ Lizzy

I was born with the gift of a golden voice.

Just thought i'd let you know.

"And the last time that I saw him
he was trying hard to get
A woman's education
But he's not a woman yet."

From Death Of A Ladies Man.

I stumbled across this old thread when I was looking for something entirely different and thought that it needed updating.
You know, so many people (not forum members) think that Leonard is the exact opposite of what we see here. His sense of humour is very evident throughout his words!

Here's a couple of new ones to start:

"But frankly I don't like your tone"
and
"Com’on baby gimme me a kiss"

both from
Different Sides

I agree, it's infuriating when he's described as 'gloomy' and the fans as 'suicidal,' when there's humour in nearly every song, and many of the poems. eg. The Moon.
I think all of Anyhow is funny especially:
'I've used up all my chances
And you'll never take me back
But there ain't no harm in asking
Could you cut me one more slack?'

And with my user name I suppose I should mention:
'I'm stubborn as those garbage bags that time cannot decay
I'm...'

I suspect 'brief elaboration of a tube' is hilarious too, if we could only work out what the hell it means!

Indeed, I've always thought that Leonard Cohen is one of the funniest people, and yet, he seldom gets credit for it from non-fans (although, if anyone has heard some of his recent interviews and speeches, how can they not notice that the guy is hilarious?).

Now that we have a brand new album of new lyrics to enjoy, one cannot but mention:

"I love to speak with Leonard,
He's a sportsman and a shepherd,
He's a lazy bastard livin' in a suit."

Cracks me up every time I hear it!

Another set of lines that always makes me laugh, from Waiting for the Miracle:

When you've fallen on the highway
and you're lying in the rain,
and they ask you how you're doing
of course you'll say you can't complain

Since I'm on a roll, I've always got a kick out of the additional lyrics Leonard added to Irving Berlin's "Always," namely the last two lines below:

The days may not be fair, always
Yeah but that's when I'll be there, always
Not for just a second, or a minute, or an hour,
Not for just a weekend and a shake down in the shower

You are getting carried away Lisa

Now, just to add to the humour of LC remember this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZlaFcjLX_4

I'll also add these lines from A Thousand Kisses Deep recitation:

You came to me this morning
And you handled me like meat.
You’d have to (live alone) be a man to know
How good that feels, how sweet.