On the edge of caring

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mat james
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On the edge of caring

Post by mat james » Tue May 05, 2015 3:55 pm

On the edge of caring.

Unfortunately for some
and sometimes for me
I’m a six-gun
with a hair trigger

unfortunately for me
and sometimes for them
it’s the ones I love
that I shoot

fortunately for me
and maybe for them
love favors the stupid
as well as the brave
and kindred souls see beyond
a bad shot.

Mat James.
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
Steven
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by Steven » Wed May 06, 2015 2:19 am

Hi Mat,

I like the poem. Love often puts people into close range (pun not intended, though
it isn't a bad one). Sometimes for the good. Sometimes not. Glad that the character
of the poem isn't a good shot. :)
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mat james
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by mat james » Wed May 06, 2015 2:39 am

Love often puts people into close range (pun not intended, though
it isn't a bad one).
Ha! great accidental line Steven. I should steal it!
(Feel free to add to my little poem if you like; that would be fun.)
Thanks for saying hello.

Mat.
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
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lizzytysh
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by lizzytysh » Wed May 06, 2015 2:50 am

Hi Mat ~

Hope you and she are still faring well, despite the close calls ~ effective way of making your point. True.

Good to see you here, as always.
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
Cate
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by Cate » Wed May 06, 2015 3:02 pm

It's so true, the people we love the most are usually the people we are most comfortable with and have the least inhibitions with - we trust them to love us even when we are our awful selves. 'I love you, let's take turns being terrible to each other and then we'll take turns being nice.'
Thank goodness love favours the stupid :)

the other Bob,
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley
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lizzytysh
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by lizzytysh » Wed May 06, 2015 4:40 pm

'I love you, let's take turns being terrible to each other and then we'll take turns being nice.'
Thank goodness love favours the stupid :)
GREAT quote from YOU, Cate!
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley
GREAT quote from Bob Marley!

BOTH so true!!!
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
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mat james
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by mat james » Sun May 10, 2015 2:18 pm

Close Range

Unfortunately for some
and sometimes for me
I’m a six-gun
with a hair trigger

unfortunately for me
and sometimes for them
it’s the ones I love
that I shoot

fortunately for me
and maybe for them
love favors the stupid
as well as the brave
and kindred souls see beyond
a bad shot.

Mat James.


Steven's accidental "close range" may be a better title for the poem than "On the edge of caring".
What do you think, Lizzy, Steven, Cate, Boss or whoever?
"What's in a name?" you may ask...but poem titles can be interesting.

????????????????????????????????
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
Steven
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by Steven » Mon May 11, 2015 2:53 am

Hi Mat,

Many readers won't find it easy to see a basis for the original title within the context of the poem. Not sure
if I've found it; guessing that "edge" may have to do with the precarious condition that caring comes under
when other emotions get in its way. I'm partial, therefore (and maybe because I'm otherwise partial), to "Close
Range" as a title.
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lizzytysh
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by lizzytysh » Mon May 11, 2015 7:18 am

I like Close Range for this poem, too, Matt.
However, I'm hoping that you'll hold on to your original title, which I LOVE for its proximity effect, and write a poem that fits it. Knowing you, you could do a great thing with it.
Thanks for asking :)
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
Cate
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by Cate » Fri May 15, 2015 5:52 pm

I like Close Range as well. It fits well with the gun metaphor, as well as gives information about the target(s). 'On the edge of caring,' makes me think of somebody who has either 'gone off' and is just coming back to rational thought or somebody who isn't terribly concerned about the whole thing ... 'I almost care, almost'
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mat james
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Re: On the edge of caring

Post by mat james » Tue May 19, 2015 2:10 pm

Funny thing is I like both (titles)for the reasons you mention.
Thanks for your input. Your comment, Cate,
'On the edge of caring,' makes me think of somebody who has either 'gone off' and is just coming back to rational thought or somebody who isn't terribly concerned about the whole thing ... 'I almost care, almost'
is exactly the mood of the writer as he enters the poem.
And in a way it is the opposite of "Close Range"...

I don't know which is better??
But thanks for the suggestions, everyone. It was fun to roll around ideas.

I will leave it with its original title for now.

Regards,
MatbbgJ
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
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