One Night Stand

[jimbo]

Oh she wanted me,
I walked into her
Striking eyes,
She flirted with everyone,
While still looking at me,
She wiggled.she pranced,
She smouldered.

We danced,
Exchanged scents,
Perspirations mingled,
Lips parted for
A probing French Kiss,
"You can have me anytime"
She wispered,your nice.

Id had enough of the chase
Went to bed,
Rolled a joint,
striped naked,
And stood gazing
at the Pale moon rising.
Just like me.

I waited,I knew
She would come,
Door tapped,
she pushed the door aside,
smelt my smoke,
and said coyly
Ill have some of that!
And some of you
for Dessert!

Not a problem" said I.
As I ran for
the unlocked door,
She had flirted with so many
I did not need,
Anybody More.

Door locked,
no Formalities,
I pulled her skirt off
over Her head,
Burying my head.
Tasted sweet.un washed,

Back arched,
Legs eagle spread,
she took me.she took me
my Golden twig buried ,
in her mossy garden
One thrust,she took me.

I took Her,in the shower,
Then we lit a fire,
Of hidden desires,
We didnt sleep till
Sun up,till sunrise.

[Manna]

Jimbo,
you weren't supposed to tell anyone!!!!

[jimbo]

Thank you for making me smile today Manana.what will we play together Country Roads.The Tennese
Waltz.i need to practice for when we do meet!!!!!!!!!!!!

jimbo

[Manna]

I know Tennessee waltz, so we could do that. Do you know Buckets of Rain? That's a good'n for the banjer. I have a song book that is easy for anyone to follow along, even accordian players! Even folks who don't read music. All you have to do is know your instrument and tap your foot.

[Jimmy O'Connell]

OMG!!!!
Another Casablanca moment....

[mickey_one]

hmm, well if I was searching for any originality in your piece I would say it was in your grammar and spelling.(sadly not in the story or art). You remind me of when I have no idea how to spell something in an email without spellcheck so I add another 3 of each consonant of which I am unsure as if it was a style choice rather than an attempt to cover my ignorance or laziness to look it up. Like "occcasssionallly"- what a mystery that word is.

Anyway, what is a "Deep French Kiss" is it one that comes with Gallic philosophy attached, in contrast to a "deep French kiss" which comes with tongues detached?

The capital R in the "full moon Rising" is immensely Irritating, don't you Think, on Reflection. It makes me search the cliché for some hidden meaning even though I'm certain there is none there.

In what way was it sly for her to ask to share your joint, and what was a joint like that doing in a girl like her?

Didn't you decide to dump her the second she said she would have you for dessert, that's at least a 3 cold shower line.

Why were you only half mast? You had apparently been imitating the moon Rising seconds before, then in walks this dozey bint looking for lurrrrve but you still have a 50% discount on a real man.

How comes she takes her mini-skirt off over her head, she is acting like a dope on dope. First of all keep it on, far more fun, secondly skirts go down - much quicker, more tantalising, and it won't get tangled in her hair. Or is she bald?

In what way did she take you, she's got her legs spread like some big bird and you take her. Or was it you with your legs spread?

What the hell is her "cold cement". Is this a dig at her baldness? Or are you confusing it with her "wet cement" that beautiful and moving description of a woman's intimate excitement?

When she whispered "your nice" was she referring to your ownership of the town in the South of France, or the biscuit?

Above all, why had you had enough at the moment of her compliment and straight after your dancing and making-out?

Are you still going out with her? Does she take her trousers off over her head as well?

I want to meet her. Can I have her mobile number?

michael

[Jimmy O'Connell]

errrrr, jimbo, a Chara**

I'd take on board what mickey_one is saying... the man is doing you a favour....

and... I'm wondering... are you playwithfire, come back to haunt us, by any chance????

Jimmy

** friend

[jaked]

Jimmy o conell
why would you take on board what mickey_one says?
I wold like to know why his opinion is importent to you?

[mickey_one]

Jimmy o conell
why would you take on board what mickey_one says?
I wold like to know why his opinion is importent to you?

the proper spelling is "impotent".

and I think he shoudl only consider my opinion after he has considered yours.

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Hi jaked, a chara....

First of all, Mickey_one has written a brilliant piece of lit crit... and done so with tongue firmly in cheek... or at least that is my interpretation of his most wonderous, insightful, melodious, inspiring and ________________ (mickey_one, you can fill in the blanks) piece...

Secondly, jimbo's most recent offering to the forum, in my humble opinion, needs re-writing.... but... then again... as I hint.... I'm a wondering... his piece is sooooooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddd that it could not be taken seriously... and so... as I hint.... maybe jimbo is really playwithfire.... whose offerings have been less than up to the usual standard on this forum...... again...... I speak only in my 'umble urriah upinion...... (note: my deft use of alliteration).

[damellon]

I think I am the only forumee who has met Jimbo and I could stake my LC print that there is no way that Jimbo and playwithfire are one and the same person. Can't you see the difference Jimmy? Have you compared the texts? The authors are miles apart. BTW I'd say Jimbo does intend this piece to be taken seriously - maybe you should eat some umble pie!

[Birdonawire]

I'm scouring my brain to come up with a particulary bad piece of 'poetry', just to have mickey_one go to work on it. Brilliant stuff Mickey.

Wait...

It's comming...

Got it:

ON JAFFA CAKES:

O, thinly veiled slice of sun,
Is that pummice on which you rest upon?
Or better yet, a sea-sponge,or,
A cake upon which to rest your orrs?


What do you think Mickey? Good eh?

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Yer, right, DaMellon, a chara,

'Umble pie is difficult to digest. A large pint of Bulmers draught, with ice, is helping enormously.

Jimmy

[Red Poppy]

I actually believe jimbo is submitting a piece of work which is serious to him. I do fully realise that some of us are here to set the rest of us up, in terms of taking the piss with submissions. The fact is that some people are not and, though I haven't met jimbo, I agree with damellon that his work is submitted with serious intent.
Sarcasm is a useful weapon but, like most automatic weapons, it's doesn't differentiate between the innocent and the guilty.
Far be it from me to preach, I've taken the piss out of quite a few people in my time (here and elsewhere) but it surprises me that those who have the knowledge, to differentiate between the posts that deserve a good kicking and those that don't, seem unwilling to use their discretion.

[Red Poppy]

PS
Actually, Jimmy, it's not "a brilliant piece of literary crit."