Story B

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LaurieAK
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Story B

Post by LaurieAK » Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:25 pm

STORY B ~~~~ (top prize winner to be published in Berlin booklet)

Living Next Door to Leonard

As a teenager, I believe I was called challenging.

Growing up as a 'Child of the sixties' with bohemian parents, my displays of will were legendary and refered to as asserting myself or knowing what I wanted out of life. There were no punishments, no boundries to push. I was my parents Goldern Girl and grew beautiful, wilful and wild as a gypsy.

I always did get what I wanted, I became Machiavellian in the art of manipulation. From my first boyfriend, who in the tradition of Raleigh, would throw his coat over a puddle in return for a chaste kiss, to my sexy red sports car - a gift from my parents after squeezing a few tears out of my cynical eyes.

My life developed meaning after hearing Leonard Cohen singing Gypsy Wife. I knew he was singing it for me. I formulated a plan right there and then. I knew what I had to do to make Leonard mine. The plan, however, needed money. Coldly I cast my eye about for a husband who would provide that commodity for me.

Frank fitted the bill exactly, he was in Finance and believed in saving and investing. He was dull company and wasn't too demanding sexually. I could hold it in my mind that I was staying pure for Leonard, because Frank was just a means to an end. Fortunately, Frank had one interesting hobby. His love of skydiving and his £150.000 life insurance policy added up to my being able to move on to step two of the plan.

It was suprisingly easy. I stood beside the open grave with crocodile tears occasionally spilling from under the veil on the cute little pillar-box hat I had worn for the occasion as I mentally counted up Frank's assets. I kept the funeral budget tight, as I am certain Frank would have wanted no lavish display to deplete the money he had left me.

Gerald was 69, I met him by using a little of my inheritance to be seen in all the right places, in the right clothes. My Gucci was worn to the maximum effect, it asserted me as a woman of independant means. I homed in on Gerald, he was putty in my hands. Because of his age -and the fact I had tearfully told the Coroner about his bouts of confusion and the fact he had mistaken his digitalis for the eight vitamin tablets he took daily- A verdict of accidental death was recorded. The Coroner made a special effort to comfort me, saying I must have made his last few years happy.

With over a million in assets, I finally had enough to start my quest to be Mrs Cohen.

The Internet is such a useful tool, don't you think? Some guy called Jarkko published all the information I needed to track Leonard down. I got the best seat in the house for all Leonard's tours, I'm sure he would have noticed me, but he was always giving his full attention to his performance, which is why I love him, he is such a perfectionist.

Yellow Pages provided me with the number of a discreet, high class Private Detective Agency. I placed them on retainer to find Leonard's address. They were pricy but quick.

I jumped on a plane the next day, booked into a local hotel and started my own detective work. Dressing in workman's garb with a cap over my beautiful hair, I aquired a wreck of a van and a spade. I then started digging in a flowerbed near to Leonard's house. After all, who would question a gardener in the street?

Leonard's house was a Colonial masterpeice, exactly like I would have chosen for our life together. My laptop at the hotel informed me Leonard was busy working on a project away from home, so I turned my attentions to his nearest neighbours home. I checked with local realtors, their house was not for sale. That was ok, they would soon see they had no choice but to sell to me.

I carried on digging the flowerbed and managed to grab the garbage before it was collected and throw it in my van. From this I learned many interesting things. Mrs Sanchez had lots of fast food deliveries sent to her late at night, then as my plan escalated I called funeral directors to collect her remains, killed all her flowers with paint stripper and kept calling the local Police reporting intruders on her property.

After three weeks the for sale sign went up. The house cost me nearly all the money I had left from my inheritance.

Last week I moved in. I was living next door to Leonard at last. I was now ready for the final phase, surely when he returned home he would want to meet his new neighbour? I worked out that I could afford the running costs of my new home for a month or so, until my money ran out, but he should fall in love with me before that happens.

LEONARD COHEN HOUNDED
Local legand Leonard Cohen
has been forced to relocate from
his hometown after a stalker subjected
his Housekeeper Mrs Maria Sanchez
(aged 45) to a campaign of terror


The Private Detective Agency gave me the wrong address.

Well, my motto is 'If first you dont succeed, try again'...................And I always get what I want.
Fljotsdale
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Post by Fljotsdale » Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:12 pm

Chillingly funny! Well done! :D
Only just found this video of LC:
http://ca.youtube.com/user/leonardcohen?ob=4" target="_blank

This one does make me cry.
Young dr. Freud
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Post by Young dr. Freud » Wed Oct 19, 2005 2:43 pm

Good Grief! Now he's being stalked!


YdF


P.S. Pardon me. But the ending of this story doesn't appear to be very logical. Why would Leonard have to leave town? How would Leonard know the reason why Mrs. Sanchez was being harrassed.
Young dr. Freud
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Post by Young dr. Freud » Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:12 pm

Forget it. I just found out this one was the winner.



YdF
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh » Wed Oct 19, 2005 6:15 pm

Sometimes people don't care about the 'why,' just the 'is' ~ and care about their housekeeper, that extended-family member, so MUCH, that moving is considered the best course! That's why :wink: .

~ Lizzy
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh » Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:16 pm

Hi, again, Ali ~
As a teenager, I believe I was called challenging.
What a beautiful, wry beginning :lol: . Sets the stage ~ immediately ~ for anything to come, and come it did :shock: !

Your story [like the reincarnation one of Byron's] also captured my heart immediately, because of its main character's "grew beautiful, wilful and wild as a gypsy" ~ it's the "gypsy" word that captures my interest every time I encounter it 8) ! "Bohemian," likewise gets my attention ~ the [seemingly] deeper, purer, more exotic, original form of "hippie." 8)

:lol:
Growing up as a 'Child of the sixties' with bohemian parents, my displays of will were legendary and refered to as asserting myself or knowing what I wanted out of life.
:lol: Even being a 'Child of the sixties', myself, I can't tell you how many times ~ [HA! How cool 8) ! I just ~ for absolutely, NO apparent reason, stopped and glanced at my computer clock just now ~ and it showed 11:11. I LOVE it when that happens!] ~ okay, back to what I was saying........how many times [even as a 'Sixties-kinda-guy' myself at the time [and still] and loving the concept of freedom and some of the widely-varying, parental practices that arose from out of that period] I wanted to say, "Will you PLEASE stop him/her from interrupting us!" This being when we were trying to have a conversation. But, the 'willful' child generally prevailed, and I said nothing. [Tough call on getting in the middle between a parent and their handling of their child, especially when it's not 'neglectful' or 'abusive' ~ but could be considered as not establishing appropriate 'boundaries' in particular situations :? ].

HOWEVER ~ in these same, particular cases that are in the forefront of mind, as I write this ~ these same children turned out to be extremely cool, self-assured, creative, and healthy adults. So, what the 'H' [as I said to Byron :wink: ] do I know :lol: ? This was [obviously] many years ago, and all I was trying to do was make my way through a conversation :wink: . Unlike Byron's character, they certainly grew up with a feeling of self-worth :lol: , so had no need of stalking anyone to validate their existence.

I've just noticed that my original comments to you, on another thread, are not here where they also belong, so I'll copy-and-paste them when I'm through.

The diabolical remainder of your story had SO many, clever developments that really intrigued me.
I always did get what I wanted, I became Machiavellian in the art of manipulation.
Ohhhh, yeah :lol: ~ I seen 'your' type :lol: !
a gift from my parents after squeezing a few tears out of my cynical eyes.
Such great detail, that even has a twist within itself.
My life developed meaning after hearing Leonard Cohen singing Gypsy Wife.
[Italics mine] Indulging the willful child doesn't always have such great results. This one's still seeking meaningful validation ~ indulgence sometimes merely a way of 'buying' a child's cooperation. Not much in the way of substantive, parent-child interaction.

This was really insightful 'character development,' filled with relevant details, as to how some women really do live their lives [the proverbial "country-club wives" ~ no offense to anyone here, who may belong to one, hence "proverbial" ] ~ some including the much-awaited death, and others not; as well as the stalking behaviours [killing the plants, etc,] for those who stop short of homicide :shock: .
I jumped on a plane the next day, booked into a local hotel and started my own detective work. Dressing in workman's garb with a cap over my beautiful hair, I aquired a wreck of a van and a spade. I then started digging in a flowerbed near to Leonard's house. After all, who would question a gardener in the street?
This is such delicious, 'stalker' detail :wink: .

Now, this is where I had my first question on the content of 'the short stories':
. . . then as my plan escalated I called funeral directors to collect her remains . . .
kept calling the local Police reporting intruders on her property.
How did you accomplish these calls [albeit a 'stranger'/anonymous call; but you didn't say that, of course]? Anyway, great twist! Who did you say you were? You would certainly be Suspect A, unless they didn't have Caller ID at that point. Who did you pretend to be? Her, I'm guessing? At least for the intruders, but certainly not for the funeral directors! Great twist, in any case. Perhaps, you might want to pursue writing mystery stories/novels :idea: !
I worked out that I could afford the running costs of my new home for a month or so, until my money ran out, but he should fall in love with me before that happens
.
I love your assessment of time frames :lol: ~ consider yourself a little irresistable there, eh :lol: ?
The house cost me nearly all the money I had left from my inheritance.
:lol: ~ The best laid plans of mice and . . . are not always the best investments for murderesses, I guess :wink: .

LEONARD COHEN HOUNDED
Local legand Leonard Cohen
has been forced to relocate from
his hometown after a stalker subjected
his Housekeeper Mrs Maria Sanchez
(aged 45) to a campaign of terror
This hilarious twist of thwartation has the very effective cadence, similar to another, Harry Chapin song that I love, "Mr. Tanner" ~ except there, it's not humourous, but sad.
The Private Detective Agency gave me the wrong address.
Tee-Hee ~ Looks like you threw good money after bad :wink: . Any paint stripper left that you might return, if you've still got the receipt? As long as devious is your forte, might as well lie that it didn't work :wink: .

However, I keep vacillating and rereading trying to figure out how you moved into the house where you did/didn't kill the woman who owned there; the woman was actually Leonard's housekeeper, but she was still living, enough for him to move. I keep rereading to get the flow of details straight as to which woman is which....or are they the same one; did someone actually die here? :? . I just need to reread it to get this end portion straight. I keep vacillating.

That, my dear, is my only constructive [I hope!] criticism on your story. For me [and the duh! factor], it needs some clarifying there. Not that I don't understand how that time frame never occurred :wink: .

Wonderful story! I loved all the twists and turns and final coup d'etat [of your Instant Karma :lol: ] ~ and your relentless belief that one, 'final' manipulation will be yours!

Leonard ~ be warned!

Love,
Lizzy
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Byron
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Post by Byron » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:02 pm

Just a quickie.......the traits we find annoying in children are invariably the qualities we admire in an adult. :idea:
"Bipolar is a roller-coaster ride without a seat belt. One day you're flying with the fireworks; for the next month you're being scraped off the trolley" I said that.
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Ali
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Post by Ali » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:07 pm

Ah, but Lizzy, was it a short story.......... or a confession??? :?: :twisted:
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:13 pm

These comments came before [one of the exceptions ~ I did make a comment on the one I thought to be Pete's, but I think that's it with comments made, out of alpha order], so now they're where they oughta be:
[Well, so much for reading all the others, tonite! Home late; long phone call; even longer for getting onto the site ~ "Cannot Find Server" :roll: ; almost 11:30 PM now and time for bed.]

I do have time to at least copy-and-paste my CONGRATULATIONS to you, Ali, from the other thread :) :

Since the winners have already been announced [I spotted the additional, latest thread between courses], I want to Congratulate Ms. Ali :D ~~ Congratulations, Ali :D ! ~~ on her First Place win with her story; its, ironically, having shades of "The Nanny," in which Leonard's own, longtime friend, Rebecca de Mornay, starred. I loved the ironic, very surprize ending, and the cadence of the media announcement 8) ........and the story continues :lol: . Great stuff, Ali 8) ! Aren't you glad you already planned to go to Berlin :D !?! What DELIGHTS me, in addition to your story's EXCELLENCE, is that you're such a newcomer to the Forum :D !!!

Goodnite, Ali ~ and sleep well. What a relief it is over, eh :D !?!

Love,
Lizzy
a deliciously wicked sense of humour threading through it!
:lol: Amen! :lol:


~ Lizzy
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:15 pm

Hi Ali ~

:lol: Well, the "Leonard ~ be warned!" wasn't entirely devoid of that consideration :wink: :lol: .

~ Lizzy

Byron ~ You're right on that :roll: :wink: :lol: , too.

~ Lizzy
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Post by mickey_one » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:44 pm

Byron wrote:Just a quickie.......the traits we find annoying in children are invariably the qualities we admire in an adult. :idea:
maybe it's just a matter of personal preference, but I find adults who wee in their nappies really irritating. I also don't admire grown-ups who throw their food around or incessantly suck on dummies

regards

michael

ps Byron, may I trouble you to translate into American the technical terms in my reply, using the words "pacifier", "diaper" and "urinate". But for goodness sake allocate the words in their right place or the images becomes seriously yuk.
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:51 pm

Geez, Mickey One ~

I can't say as I've admired those traits in children :shock: ~ what a loving parent you must be. Perhaps, a little over-the-top in the admiration department, but certainly squarely in there with acceptance :wink: . Should all children be striving for these traits? Parental pressure to succeed in them?

~ Lizzy
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Post by mickey_one » Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:23 pm

lizzytysh wrote:Geez, Mickey One ~

I can't say as I've admired those traits in children :shock: ~ what a loving parent you must be. Perhaps, a little over-the-top in the admiration department, but certainly squarely in there with acceptance :wink: . Should all children be striving for these traits? Parental pressure to succeed in them?

~ Lizzy
re-read Byron's post and have your apology waiting on my desk by my return in an hour or so.
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Ali
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Post by Ali » Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:48 pm

Lizzy, Leonard put the house on the market after his housekeeper explained about the weird occurances. (He was probably thinking of moving somewhere sunnier anyway :lol: )
The For Sale sign went up and my Gypsy paid cash for a quick private sale, the house was registered in the Housekeepers name for tax purposes - and to keep away celeb stalkers, and Hello Magazine etc. So she was unaware it was actually LC's house she had purchased.
Due to the thousand word limit it was probably not thoroughly explained :lol:
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh » Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:51 pm

Ohhhkaaaaay ~ It's on your desk a little early :o .


< * apology sits curledup on desk ~ big desk * >
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