Page 1 of 1

My Point of View

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 10:16 pm
by Andrew McGeever
My Point of View
(To Arlo Andrew John McGeever)

A drenched Thursday morn,
fifteenth of July,
the day I was born,
and sounded a cry.

With nine months inside,
in seconds I'm out:
no more room to hide,
what's life all about?

I open my eyes
and manage one peep:
now don't be surprised
if I fall asleep.

My flag is unfurled,
I'm born without sin,
yet what is this world
you're squeezing me in?

My page remains white
but soon I'll begin
the words I will write;
the song I must sing.

Living is busy,
there's so much to find.
Right now I'm lazy,
I hope you don't mind.

No reputation:
it's too soon to know
my situation.
I'll go with the flow.

But I will reveal
my secrets and plans,
and all that I feel
from childhood to man.

My mummy loves me,
my daddy does too:
I guess I'm lucky,
that's my point of view.

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:07 am
by margaret
Andrew,
does this mean "Congratulations" are in order? :D

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:12 am
by Byron
I do believe that Andrew is doing a 'Seamus Heaney,' by alluding to a past event in order to produce a new event. ;-)

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 2:14 am
by kwills
Congratulations and I loved the poem.

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Sat Aug 21, 2010 4:39 am
by Andrew McGeever
In response to Margaret, yes "congratulations" are in order: I have achieved grandfatherdom.
As regards Byron's quirky take on Seamus Heaney,all I can add is Arlo and I were born on Thursday.
Kwills, thankyou for your kind message.
This piece was written very quickly; two days after Arlo was born.
I will explain later why I wrote the verses in a form which was strange to me.
The structure/ skeleton is based one of Leonard Cohen's poems.
It's an iamb followed by an anapest in each line. To sound it, try "dee dum, dee dee dum".
My status has changed; my world has been enlarged by this tiny, beautiful child.
Question time: which Leonard Cohen poem did I use as a skeleton for "My Point of View"?
I would like Geoffrey, somewhere in Norway, to read this in order to show him that my writing is not dominated by depravity.
Andrew.

P.S. There's sentimentality, especially in the last stanza..should I omit it?

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Sat Aug 21, 2010 7:29 am
by mat james
...P.S. There's sentimentality, especially in the last stanza..should I omit it?

To Every Thing There is a Season
Ecclesiastes 3


To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace;
and even a time for grand-paternal sentimentality
under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Sat Aug 21, 2010 7:49 am
by Geoffrey
Andrew McGeever wrote:
>I would like Geoffrey, somewhere in Norway, to read this in order to show him that my writing is not dominated by depravity.


I do not remember ever suggesting that such was the case. But I am here today not to argue the shamelessness present in an earlier work penned by your hand. I come now to comment upon the line "I'm born without sin", which, as a Christian, gave me cause to frown. Had you written "I'm born without guilt", I would probably have turned a blind eye. Yet "sin" (so-called "original sin"), as unfair as it may seem, has, unfortunately, been unavoidably inherited through every generation since Adam fell from the grace of God. This is why it is so important to have infants baptised as early as possible, thus ensuring that the destination of their souls is not guaranteed to be Hell.

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Sat Aug 21, 2010 12:38 pm
by margaret
Andrew McGeever wrote: Question time: which Leonard Cohen poem did I use as a skeleton for "My Point of View"?

Andrew.
The one that springs first to my mind is Book of Longing.

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 12:45 am
by Cate
Congratulations on your newest role!!!!

~~
added

re- which poem question

I was going to guess As The Mist Leaves No Scare, but I don't think it's the right metre ...can you give us a hint - bigger hint that is.

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 11:34 pm
by Andrew McGeever
There are several replies to be made: I'll attempt them in one post.
Firstly, to Mat James: "and even a time for grand-parental sentimentality" (sic). Mat, I was overwhelmed by your post. Those lines from the Book of Ecclesiastes are some of my favourite passages from The Bible. ( thinks back to The Byrds, "Turn, Turn, Turn" ). Thankyou for your sensitive post. I guess, therefore, that you reckon I got away with sentimentality :?: .

Geoffrey, I invited you to reply, and you did in the manner I've come to expect from you. I'm glad you responded, for there's probably no-one else on this forum who would identify the one line over which I had second thoughts (apart from the obvious sentimentality, for which I have been pardoned ). Yes, you are right, in terms of the Holy Roman Catholic Church's doctrine of Original Sin which states that every human being is born with the sin committed by Adam in the Garden of Eden. Absolution from this sin requires the Sacrament of Baptism, as administered by a Catholic priest. Geoffrey, the last thing on my mind when I saw my beautiful grandson a few hours after he was born was to say to to my son and daughter-in -law, "well, there's another sinner born". Question time, Geoffrey, where do souls go, if unbaptised? I think the Doctrine has been changed in the last few years...I'm talking of Limbo.

Margaret.......you are CORRECT :D . I was listening to a "studio" version of Leonard singing "The Book of Longing" when I started to write "My Point of View", and it seemed to fit....mainly.

Cate, thankyou for your post: "my newest role" is one I have been looking forward to for so long. I'll tell you the truth: it's made me feel younger, more active; a "new" status in my life.The poem was "the Book of Longing".

That's all for now. I have work tomorrow.

Andrew

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 8:36 am
by mat james
:neutral:

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 9:32 am
by Geoffrey
Andrew McGeever asked:
>Geoffrey, where do souls go, if unbaptised?

Well, this is a trick question. You are asking the meaning of life, why we are here, but I will supply an answer - even though you know it as well as myself. But for the sake of other people who may be reading this and finding it boring (this forum is not exactly frequented by members of a Brains Trust, Andrew) I will intersperse the closing section of my reply with one or two relevant and entertaining YouTube clips. OK, here goes. Unbaptised souls return from hence they came, they are pulped, recycled, and given a new lease of 'life', as with everything else that exists. No person has either the intelligence or competence to completely understand the big theological conundrums concerning baptism and the hereafter, though I am aware of a warp potential inherent in the strict mathematical science of logic. The laws of physics are built upon a foundation of the purist common sense, yet nothing dictates that the principles of such a mental state needs to be governed by what is accepted as normal reasoning. As Bob Dylan so succinctly put it: "All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie." The mystery of creation does not require a beginning or end, nature is, and always has been eternal. But this is not an original idea, I believe a pop group called Wet Wet Wet sang something like: "There's no beginning and there'll be no end . . ." - did they not? Just like the frog in the ditch that can jump only half of the remaining distance to the water's edge will never reach dry land, so we, upon reaching a horizon, will always find one more, the so-called 'infinity mirror' effect ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZkdQeevJu0 ). Or, as in the closing monologue by The Incredible Shrinking Man: "To God there is no zero; I still exist!" ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bp3iHjGBfT4 ). And God, where does he fit in? I don't know. A character in Leonard Cohen's novel The Favourite Game shouted "Fuck God", and I thought about that when listening to the organist's thoughtful little speech in Bad Boy Bubby ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3chIj9jWe1o )

Re: My Point of View

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:18 pm
by mat james
:neutral: