Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

This is for your own works!!!
Lion of Lions
Posts: 394
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by Lion of Lions » Mon Jun 08, 2009 12:47 am

I am going to write a story about something that happened to Leonard when he was a little man. All of it is true.

Once upon a time, when Leonard went up the Buddhist mountain he was no longer a Jew and the children of Israel turned on him and called him a "goy", which is a derogatory term for a non-Jew. But he didn't care and played poker all day with a shiny plastic-backed pack of cards that he stole from the local dispreacher. When the dispreacher found out, he ripped off his religious robes and threw paint all over them, as if to say he was really quite a bit irritated.

Many years later when Leonard was riding a donkey on Hydra he looked out of the donkey’s window and could see a man at the end of the platform who was crying and shaking but Leonard thought “this has nothing to do with me “ and he shouted “Old Crying Man, shut the fuck up”. (Some scholars contend that he was actually riding the donkey in Paris and was so angry that he decided to set fire to the man from the head down and shouted "Monsieur, I will burn-la-tête and thereafter he became known as Bernadette as a result of poor translation and a terrible French accent.)

Half the time I look back on this story and see myself as Leonard, the other half as the dispreacher, and the rest of the time, and more than anything else, I see myself as the pack of cards, including the Queen who was my lover and was eating dis peach under the cover.
Last edited by Lion of Lions on Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
tinderella
Posts: 1510
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:48 pm
Location: Dublin Ireland

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by tinderella » Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:04 am

So worth ignoring all my sunday papers for.
When you write the novel I want a signed copy.

Goodnight
Lion of Lions
Posts: 394
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by Lion of Lions » Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:06 am

tinderella wrote:So worth ignoring all my sunday papers for.
When you write the novel I want a singed copy.

Goodnight

I will do more than just singe it, for you I will burn the entire book.

Good night
Marisha
Posts: 218
Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 8:26 pm

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by Marisha » Mon Jun 08, 2009 8:28 pm

Lion of Lions wrote:I am going to write a story about something that happened to Leonard when he was a little man. All of it is true.

Once upon a time, when Leonard went up the Buddhist mountain he was no longer a Jew and the children of Israel turned on him and called him a "goy", which is a derogatory term for a non-Jew. But he didn't care and played poker all day with a shiny plastic-backed pack of cards that he stole from the local dispreacher. When the dispreacher found out, he ripped off his religious robes and threw paint all over them, as if to say he was really quite a bit irritated.

Many years later when Leonard was riding a donkey on Hydra he looked out of the donkey’s window and could see a man at the end of the platform who was crying and shaking but Leonard thought “this has nothing to do with me “ and he shouted “Old Crying Man, shut the fuck up”. (Some scholars contend that he was actually riding the donkey in Paris and was so angry that he decided to set fire to the man from the head down and shouted "Monsieur, I will burn-la-tête and thereafter he became known as Bernadette as a result of poor translation and a terrible French accent.)

Half the time I look back on this story and see myself as Leonard, the other half as the dispreacher, and the rest of the time, and more than anything else, I see myself as the pack of cards, including the Queen who was my lover and was eating dis peach under the cover.
only one thing wrong with this, there may be no cars on Hydra but there aren't any platforms either! the boats don't arrive at platforms.

otherwise, brilliant writing. lol.
Lion of Lions
Posts: 394
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by Lion of Lions » Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:51 pm

fair point.

there is a tragic end to Leonard's riding career when he becomes dispreached by diamonds under his knees. he consults doctors from all around the world and their unanimous verdict is that he must stop riding immediately for the sake of the rest of society. it is only years later that it is discovered they were really doctors of literature and they had actually told him "to stop writing".

Moral of the Story- it is never too late for a bad writer to Jack it in.
User avatar
tinderella
Posts: 1510
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:48 pm
Location: Dublin Ireland

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by tinderella » Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:55 pm

Everytime i see those few words...' dispreached by diamonds under his knees'... i just crack up.... Should it be the standard metaphor on the forum now for bad writing?
Thankfully I will never create or post a poem so won't have to worry about the wrath of the Lion
lazariuk
Posts: 1944
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 5:38 am
Location: Vancouver

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by lazariuk » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:15 pm

tinderella wrote:Everytime i see those few words...' dispreached by diamonds under his knees'... i just crack up.... Should it be the standard metaphor on the forum now for bad writing?
Thankfully I will never create or post a poem so won't have to worry about the wrath of the Lion
You are thankful that you will never create or post a poem?

would the wrath of some critic really worry you ?

Do you think it bothers me?
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
User avatar
tinderella
Posts: 1510
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:48 pm
Location: Dublin Ireland

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by tinderella » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:33 pm

Don't take it personally Laz.... I just really like the Lions quick witted style of writing and do not think anyone comes close to it. It is a lot of fun to read.
Well done for posting on here... I just leave little comments when something I read interests me.
Lion of Lions
Posts: 394
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by Lion of Lions » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:40 pm

tinderella wrote:Don't take it personally Laz.... I just really like the Lions quick witted style of writing and do not think anyone comes close to it. It is a lot of fun to read.
Well done for posting on here... I just leave little comments when something I read interests me.
"dispreached by diamonds under his knees" should indeedy doody be the standard metaphor for bad writing

and "dispreached by her lover, dispreached by a Queen who stayed under cover" be the standard for desperate meaningless rhyme.

hey, talking of Laz, are you a Jack L fan, tinders?

I visited Ireland for the first time some months ago just to see him in concert. I love his voice and that song Lazarus, "lock up your daughters, Jackie's back in townnnnnnn" !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYeetc1n ... L&index=24
lazariuk
Posts: 1944
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 5:38 am
Location: Vancouver

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by lazariuk » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:49 pm

tinderella wrote:Don't take it personally Laz.... I just really like the Lions quick witted style of writing and do not think anyone comes close to it. It is a lot of fun to read.
Well done for posting on here... I just leave little comments when something I read interests me.
Dear tinderella

you leave very interesting comments. Why not talk about them a bit? This is a friendly place to talk. You wrote:
Everytime i see those few words...' dispreached by diamonds under his knees'... i just crack up.... Should it be the standard metaphor on the forum now for bad writing?
Maybe you are right so lets take a look. Why do you think it should be the standard metaphor for bad writing? What do you feel is bad about it? Do you have any other metaphor to describe the same thing that we can use to compare it to?


Jack
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
User avatar
tinderella
Posts: 1510
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:48 pm
Location: Dublin Ireland

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by tinderella » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:54 pm

I took the name Tinders after the tindersticks... I love Stuarts smoky voice and Jack L has a voice quite like it.
He does wonderful covers of Jacques Brel also... and I like his work a lot too.
Lion of Lions
Posts: 394
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by Lion of Lions » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:56 pm

Tinders- a quick warning about the forum's Jack L, not the other Jack L- the great Irish artist, I have been told he has a dangerous pick-up line where he asks attractive women to pop over and share a quick metaphor with him. No-one has lived to explain what really happens but I suspect "metaphor" is probably just a metaphor for metaphor and if you ever escape you will have been brainwashed into talking about dispreaching the Queen of diamonds or other twaddle.

also, don't lend him money.
Lion of Lions
Posts: 394
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by Lion of Lions » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:57 pm

tinderella wrote:I took the name Tinders after the tindersticks... I love Stuarts smoky voice and Jack L has a voice quite like it.
He does wonderful covers of Jacques Brel also... and I like his work a lot too.
Stuart Staples is SO bloody good and thanks, now I know what I will listen to tonight. "The Leaving Song".

hey, really embarrassing but I can't remember where I went to in Ireland but I think it was Cork!
Lion of Lions
Posts: 394
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by Lion of Lions » Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:03 pm

anuddr t'ing. when Jack L really lets go his voice is sensational. I can't claim he matches Tim Buckley, possessor of perhaps the greatest voice in Rock history, but there is something special with Jack Lukeman. I guess the frustration about both of them is when they sing/sang overly commercial bits of nothing. Some of Jack L's songs are really weak, and Tim Buckley released lightweight albums like Hello and Goodbye where I think "shit, just show us your voice, I know it's there". Then I go back to Lorca and all is right with the world. Sorry, if I am waffling about an artist that you may not know...
User avatar
tinderella
Posts: 1510
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:48 pm
Location: Dublin Ireland

Re: Leonard as a Goy- a pack of cards

Post by tinderella » Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:07 pm

Lion King.. you are incorrigible :D
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”