Dispreached

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lazariuk
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Location: Vancouver

Dispreached

Post by lazariuk » Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:45 pm

Dispreached
by the flowers
Dispreached
by the trees
Dispreached
by diamonds
under his knees

Dispreached
by the song
Dispreached
by the book
Dispreached
by taking
a second look

Dispreached
by a saint
Dispreached
by a liar
Dispreached
by a gaze
into the fire

Dispreached
by a woman
Dispreached
by her lover
Dispreached
by a Queen
who stayed
under cover
Last edited by lazariuk on Thu Jun 04, 2009 6:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
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abby
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Re: Dispreached

Post by abby » Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:29 am

Bravo!
Cate
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Re: Dispreached

Post by Cate » Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:47 pm

Interesting list poem Jack. When reading I tended to group lines so that it read as four, three line stanza’s with lines 2 and 3 rhyming.
The idea of being dispreached is an interesting one. Preached by - dispreached by.
lazariuk
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Re: Dispreached

Post by lazariuk » Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:06 pm

abby wrote:Bravo!
Thank you Abby. I was very pleased with how it came to me to be written.
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
lazariuk
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Location: Vancouver

Re: Dispreached

Post by lazariuk » Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:24 pm

Cate wrote:
The idea of being dispreached is an interesting one. Preached by - dispreached by.
Hi Cate
I thought there should be such a word and i couldn't find one so I invented it. I was trying to figure out what was happening with those little birds in Anthem who Leonard once preached to.

Maybe if the word got around people might take a second look about staying in the places where preachers have placed them, including those preaching the dogmas of science.
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
lazariuk
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Re: Dispreached

Post by lazariuk » Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:32 pm

Cate wrote: When reading I tended to group lines so that it read as four, three line stanza’s with lines 2 and 3 rhyming.
I don't really know what you mean. Can you give me a little example? Also do you feel that there is a possibility that most others tend that way as well?
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
Cate
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Re: Dispreached

Post by Cate » Fri Jun 05, 2009 12:21 am

oh I just meant that I read it like this,

Dispreached by the flowers
Dispreached by the trees
Dispreached by the diamonds, under his knees

Dispreached by the song
Dispreached by the book
Dispreached by taking a second look

Dispreached by a saint
Dispreached by a liar
Dispreached by a gaze into the fire

Dispreached by a woman
Dispreached by her lover
Dispreached by a Queen who stayed under cover


I'm still thinking about dispreached - it seems that there could be a concern of the dispreacher - preaching ...

maybe because you've used fire - I'm thinking of William Blake who seemed to be a big God fan, but not a big fan of religion or preachers.

~-~
Hello there Abby way up high - it's nice to you.
lazariuk
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Location: Vancouver

Re: Dispreached

Post by lazariuk » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:17 am

Cate wrote:oh I just meant that I read it like this,

Dispreached by the flowers
Dispreached by the trees
Dispreached by the diamonds under his knees

Dispreached by the song
Dispreached by the book
Dispreached by taking a second look

Dispreached by a saint
Dispreached by a liar
Dispreached by a gaze into the fire

Dispreached by a woman
Dispreached by her lover
Dispreached by a Queen who stayed under cover


I'm still thinking about dispreached - it seems that there could be a concern of the dispreacher - preaching ...

maybe because you've used fire - I'm thinking of William Blake who seemed to be a big God fan, but not a big fan of religion or preachers.

~-~
Hello there Abby way up high - it's nice to you.
thank you Cate. I see what you mean and i like it. It lets me see something that I didn't see before and so below I made some changes
Dispreached by the flowers
Dispreached by the trees
Dispreached by diamonds, under his knees

Dispreached by the song
Dispreached by the book
Dispreached by taking a second look

Dispreached by a saint
Dispreached by a liar
Dispreached by a gaze into the fire

Dispreached by a woman
Dispreached by her lover
Dispreached by a Queen under cover
I was also wondering how it would sound if I just left the title as Dispreached and wrote
by the flowers
by the trees
by diamonds under his knees

by the song
by the book
by taking a second look

by a saint
by a liar
by gazing in the fire

by a woman
by her lover
by a Queen under cover
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
imaginary friend
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Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: Dispreached

Post by imaginary friend » Fri Jun 05, 2009 3:03 am

I like your last version best Jack, with Dispreached only in the title.

'Dispreached' makes me think of losing your grip and slipping into the Masterpiece, rather than 'going astray'... but I guess they're really the same thing. I agree with Cate, it's an interesting concept. (I want to be dispreached)
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Violet
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Re: Dispreached

Post by Violet » Fri Jun 05, 2009 3:16 am

... I have a little dispreaching whip I could try using on you I.F... for the dispreaching part of my dominatrix training, I mean...

.. (for anyone else reading this, I did not write any of this, so just put it out of your mind.. or.. maybe Geoffrey made me do it)...
Violet
lazariuk
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Location: Vancouver

Re: Dispreached

Post by lazariuk » Fri Jun 05, 2009 3:26 am

imaginary friend wrote:I like your last version best Jack, with Dispreached only in the title.

'Dispreached' makes me think of losing your grip and slipping into the Masterpiece, rather than 'going astray'... but I guess they're really the same thing. I agree with Cate, it's an interesting concept. (I want to be dispreached)
Thank you Imaginary friend

I also think that Cate has a very valid point when she says:
'm still thinking about dispreached - it seems that there could be a concern of the dispreacher - preaching ...
I have given that some thought and thought that a good title might be
"Who is dispreaching?"

and so
Who is Dispreaching

by the flowers
by the trees
by diamonds under the knees

by the song
by the book
by giving a second look

by a saint
by a liar
by a gaze in the fire

by a woman
by her lover
by a Queen under cover
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
lazariuk
Posts: 1944
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 5:38 am
Location: Vancouver

Re: Dispreached

Post by lazariuk » Fri Jun 05, 2009 3:50 am

imaginary friend wrote: (I want to be dispreached)
By the way, don't for a moment think that went by unnoticed.
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
imaginary friend
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Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: Dispreached

Post by imaginary friend » Fri Jun 05, 2009 3:52 am

If one must preach, then please let him preach about the joy of being Dispreached.

(Jack, shouldn't the title be 'Who is Dispreached'?
'Dispreached' has a kinda rebel feel to it.
'Dispreaching' sounds kinda snobby... )

Violet. Vi-O-let. You are hereby banned from the Haiku thread.
imaginary friend
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Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: Dispreached

Post by imaginary friend » Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:03 am

Dat preacher jus' been dispreachin' but
dis preacher done been dispreached
fell in love with the world, no turnin' back
hung up his robes; says 'that is that'.

(...whistling...)
lazariuk
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Location: Vancouver

Re: Dispreached

Post by lazariuk » Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:16 am

imaginary friend wrote: (Jack, shouldn't the title be 'Who is Dispreached'?
no
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
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