What exactly is an A**hole?

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lazariuk
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What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by lazariuk » Sun May 24, 2009 9:49 pm

Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
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Violet
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by Violet » Mon May 25, 2009 6:44 am

Jack.. it's a bit late.. and I was sleepily reading this.. kind of liking it.. how it stays sort of in this almost non place.. it's rather humorous, but who knows why, even.. and I don't know.. I may not have the colors right (this is really just a sample) but I thought it might make nice wall paper.. I mean I can imagine reading it on my bedroom walls right before drifting off.. so.. anyway, I hope you like it.. and if not.. then I'm sorry that I couldn't be of more... Actually, I hesitated doing this since, given your title, I guess I'm in the awkward (seemingly obligatory) position of furthering your definition of what exactly is an A**hole, only with my post I fear the title might now refer.. well, more to me, than to the subject of the text, depending on how you look at it, I mean... Actually, according to your text, it seems an A**hole is preoccupied with piss (slightly surprising, when you think about it).. I myself would not call the subject of your text an A**hole, but quite possibly British.. (Harry could probably speak to that).. Anyway, once again, sorry I couldn't .. but do you at least like the wallpaper?? I'm thinking it's kind of dreamy, actually... and could lead to.. well, possibly some pretty inconsequential dreams, I should think...
nighty night,

v i o l e t

Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"


Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"

Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"
Violet
lazariuk
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by lazariuk » Mon May 25, 2009 1:48 pm

Violet wrote:]but do you at least like the wallpaper?? I'm thinking it's kind of dreamy, actually... and could lead to.. well, possibly some pretty inconsequential dreams, I should think...
nighty night,
Violet, I sure hope you had a good sleep. I liked your use of color and the repeating pattern but considering the circular nature of what I was writing maybe toilet paper would be a better use.

If you are looking for wallpaper might I suggest William Morris designs. I have a book of his and he makes the intelligent suggestion of trying to always fill space with what is either beautiful or useful. A lot of thought went into his wallpaper design and you might find that he knows a bit about helping you have a restful sleep.

But even as a toilet paper design I wouldn't go to the printers right away as I have been thinking of a few changes that I might make. I'm trying to remember if I asked for a glass of water before I left or if I took out my umbrella.
Last edited by lazariuk on Mon May 25, 2009 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by Manna » Mon May 25, 2009 3:40 pm

I think a**hole should be further abbreviated to simply * .
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Re: What exactly are *.?

Post by lazariuk » Mon May 25, 2009 3:53 pm

Manna wrote:I think a**hole should be further abbreviated to simply * .
Yes, you are right, I can see that. Thanks! Very smart of you to place that period there considering that pissing is being considered.
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
Cate
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by Cate » Mon May 25, 2009 4:17 pm

lazariuk wrote: I'm trying to remember if I asked for a glass of water before I left or if I took out my umbrella.
:lol:
Well Jack my you don't seem to be the best at taking out an umbrella when needed. My guess is a wide brimmed hat with a rain jacket collar up.

this has nothing to do with pee it was just playing on the radio while I was typing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCGeCgztDpo
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Violet
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by Violet » Mon May 25, 2009 4:19 pm

Hi Jack.. I see what you mean about using your text as toilet paper, but maybe that could be in the bathroom adjacent to the room with the wallpaper.. a matching theme sort of thing... anyway, contrary to what I'd suggested, I seem to have had a very consequential sleep or dream since I woke up feeling that the wallpaper really should have a border.. so... here's what I came up with.. oh, and I worked in Manna's version of A**hole at the bottom part of the pattern (thanks Manna.. I think it adds something, actually)... Oh.. and that last little piece is actually.. well.. toilet paper.. (just for you Jack)... (by the way, I love William Morris.. only your circular thought patterns seem more seductive to me somehow)..
good mornin', by the way..
(and what a lovely morning it is here in upstate New York.. where artists such as myself flee so to come up with new art "idears" inspired by Quebec-ians named Jack, it seems..)... (thanks for the inspiration).. (and actually, the toilet paper probably needs to be manufactured, I'm thinking.. actually, the Chinese like monopolizing on A**holes, come to think of it, so maybe we can set up shop there..)... (I think I just insulted my own country)...
oh well...
v i o l e t (flower)
.. oh.. hi Cate..


A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole
****************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"


Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"

Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"



A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole


Actually, Jack, I just corrected a typo in the border, which was the word "A**hold"... a household of "A**holes" comes to mind (or perhaps a, um, sexual position maybe?).. I would think there'd be other uses for this word as well... you really opened up a veritable "A**hola's" box, it seems... maybe we really could go into business..
Violet
Cate
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by Cate » Mon May 25, 2009 4:44 pm

hi V . . x
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Geoffrey
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by Geoffrey » Mon May 25, 2009 4:50 pm

Manna wrote:
>I think a**hole should be further abbreviated to simply * .


Let us examine what another person says about the subject:

"I am a well-known folklorist, an authority on the A******s, a tribe I have no intention of disgracing by my interest. There are, perhaps, ten full-blooded A******s left, four of them teenage girls. I will add that F. took full advantage of my anthropological status to fuck all four of them. Old friend, you paid your dues. The A******s seem to have made their appearance in the fifteenth century, or rather, a sizable remnant of the tribe. Their brief history is characterized by incessant defeat. The very name of the tribe, A******, is the word for corpse in the language of all the neighboring tribes. There is no record that this unfortunate people ever won a single battle, while the songs and legends of its enemies are virtually nothing but a sustained howl of triumph. My interest in this pack of failures betrays my character. Borrowing money from me, F. often said: Thanks, you old A******! Catherine Tekakwitha, do you listen?"
[Leonard Cohen: 'Beautiful Losers']
lazariuk
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by lazariuk » Mon May 25, 2009 5:02 pm

G that reminded me of the disgraceful turn my prayers once took when I came out with "If I can't be a saint can I at least fuck one?"

Sorry, I couldn't pass having a Jackie moment
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lazariuk
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by lazariuk » Mon May 25, 2009 5:58 pm

Violet wrote: maybe that could be in the bathroom adjacent to the room with the wallpaper.. a matching theme sort of thing
You have given me an idea Violet. My intention with this thread was to set up a little room to work out some private thoughts. It didn't occur to me that it would fill up with people. On the other hand it led to pulling out my William Morris book that only has prints on one side of the page and the other side is blank and so maybe it is time for me to start a journal for things that I wouldn't be willing to explain publicly if asked.
Everything being said to you is true; Imagine of what it is true.
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Violet
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by Violet » Mon May 25, 2009 6:02 pm

I can't believe I missed your last post, Jack.. the following was in response to the one prior... but yes, I think the blank pages in a William Morris book might be a nice place to start keeping track... even if you don't post everything.. it sounds like it would make a nice object, in a way... with each room/wallpaper pattern maybe bringing up something slightly different in feel... Okay, now on to what I had started with here originally..

.. well, Jack, I usually don't **ck when I'm in my more saintly mode, but for you I would make an exception.. that actually had nothing to do with me -- my saying that I mean.. it was a rhetorical thing.. I think.. I mean, Leonard entered my head and..

Anyhoo (oh hi again Cate.. x.. ).. (and hello G.).. let me know Jack when you finish the main text, since it seems I'm really getting into this whole wallpaper idea (is wallpaper one word, by the way?.. Manna?..).. anyway, in the meantime, I added another part to the border.. see what you think..
v. xxx


A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole A**hole
****************************************************************************************************************************************************************

... or it might simply be being British... or it might simply be being British.. or it might simply be being British... or it might simply be being British...
... or it might simply be being British... or it might simply be being British.. or it might simply be being British... or it might simply be being British...


Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"


Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"

Someone came to me once for a bit of advice. She told me that she didn't think that her darling, her love was drinking enough and wanted to know what to do. I knew that she really did love him and was willing to help in any way I could.
She asked me if I thought she should somehow find a way to force him to drink more or if I thought it would be better if she just tried to make more pleasant drinks. I thought for a bit and then I answered that I was pretty sure he would drink when he was thirsty and that would be very sufficient. The only problem that I saw was then he might be spending too much time in places where he wasn't allowed to piss.

She replied immediately that no one was stopping him from pissing but I knew that she wasn't really finished thinking about that and so I just said "Sorry that I couldn't be of more help"



A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
A**hole A**hole A**hole
Last edited by Violet on Mon May 25, 2009 7:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Violet
lazariuk
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by lazariuk » Mon May 25, 2009 6:28 pm

Violet do you feel safe that the British would not be offended? I mean "be being british" doesn't seem to have a very smooth sound to it and people like to think the toilet paper they are about to use will be soft and smooth.
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Violet
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by Violet » Mon May 25, 2009 6:38 pm

... well, I'm certainly open to your editorial suggestions.. how would you put it?.. to smooth things out, I mean.. (this discussion is starting to sicken me, actually)... (I mean the bathroom is not usually the room I like to keep my mind on.. or in).. but really, Jack.. maybe you could clean things up.. (there I go again).. (ee gad, this is hard)... You know I really don't think I can continue having this conversation without really feeling sick.. but try, Jack (oh god...
Violet
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Re: What exactly is an A**hole?

Post by lizzytysh » Mon May 25, 2009 7:13 pm

:lol: How did your wish transpire in the years since, Jack?


~ Lizzy
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