Seashell

This is for your own works!!!
Virginia
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:09 pm

Seashell

Post by Virginia »

It keeps whispering,
even when I'm not listening,
whispering something
to someone else,
telling sad secrets,
here on the shore between life and eternity.

And some of its stories
are lies and some are the honest truth
and some I'm not even sure
I really heard.
But it never stops its whispering,
here on the shore between eternity and life.
mickey_one
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Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees

Re: Seashell

Post by mickey_one »

job done, Virginia! I told you I could draw some attention to your poem by posting a harsh crit.

regards

michael
Last edited by mickey_one on Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
madflowers
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:36 am

Re: Seashell

Post by madflowers »

Virginia wrote:It keeps whispering,
even when I'm not listening,
whispering something
to someone else,
telling sad secrets,
here on the shore between life and eternity.

And some of its stories
are lies and some are the honest truth
and some I'm not even sure
I really heard.
But it never stops its whispering,
here on the shore between eternity and life.
I liked this poem and think that the title may have nothing to do with the poem.
I almost imagine it as 'wordless 'whisper telling of the fullness of eternity
and the longings of eternity
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mat james
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Location: Australia

Re: Seashell

Post by mat james »

I've put large sea-shells to my ear and felt/heard similar whisperings,
of the eternal in life.

I love the poem.
It takes me immediately to my larger Self
that self the Hindu names "the dweller".
I feel refreshed, filled with wonder
safe

Thanks, V.
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
madflowers
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Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:36 am

Re: Seashell

Post by madflowers »

mickey_one wrote:job done, Virginia! I told you I could draw some attention to your poem by posting a harsh crit.

regards

michael
mickey-one-Just for the record and no particular reason can I say that I had read this poem and printed it off to have a read of Before your crit was posted and Long before it was edited ;-) ;-)
mickey_one
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Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees

Re: Seashell

Post by mickey_one »

madflowers wrote:
mickey_one wrote:job done, Virginia! I told you I could draw some attention to your poem by posting a harsh crit.

regards

michael
mickey-one-Just for the record and no particular reason can I say that I had read this poem and printed it off to have a read of Before your crit was posted and Long before it was edited ;-) ;-)

what a thought, is someone really keeping some kind of record of our posts here? scary!
madflowers
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Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:36 am

Re: Seashell

Post by madflowers »

Automatic counter I beleive Michael ;-) ;-)
Virginia
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:09 pm

Re: Seashell

Post by Virginia »

I missed your critique Michael but thank you (or not as the case may be).
Might not people have found the poem without it?
Perhaps/perhaps not.
Manna
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Location: Where clouds go to die

Re: Seashell

Post by Manna »

I read the poem but didn't comment.
I didn't care for it; it was a little too cute for my taste.
That's all.
I did like the opening, tho.
Virginia
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:09 pm

Re: Seashell

Post by Virginia »

Thank you Manna, not a problem that you didn't like it.
Each to his/her own taste.
I'm confused though - your reply suggests you're Mickey-1, which you may be!
I'm not sure of the pecking order here.
I posted my comment on foot Mickey-1's (your?) comment when he/you wrote: "I told you I could draw some attention to your poem by posting a harsh crit."
I wasn't sure whether he was being serious or not and I didn't get a chance to read his critique.
Manna
Posts: 1998
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Location: Where clouds go to die

Re: Seashell

Post by Manna »

I'm not M-1.
Here is how to tell the difference between his Lordship and me:

1. We are both working to save the world, but he uses people for this while I use yeast.
2. He can't vote for Obama, but I once met him in a hotel room where we voted for poems.
3. While we are both human, I am a man, a guverner, in fact, and he is a woman, and not a very pretty one. (This is well-documented on these fora if you know where to look.)
4. If he were a season, I'd be Thursday.
5. He does the pecking, I do the plucking, plunking and picking.
6. I have blonde hair, and he has even less.
7. He likes cabbage, and I like movies.
8. I live with two other people, and he lives a few thousand miles away.
9. He is sleeping and I am making peanut butter cookies.

At least, I hope and assume he's sleeping. If he's not, I send him some virtual warm malted milk, made with my leftover malt extract from making wort yesterday.

I read his overly scathing review, but I took no part in its being back-lit like that, whoa.
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mat james
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Location: Australia

Re: Seashell

Post by mat james »

4. If he were a season, I'd be Thursday.
:lol: :lol: :lol: 8)
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
Virginia
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:09 pm

Re: Seashell

Post by Virginia »

Thank you Manna for explaining so generously.
One thing that irks me - having been away for a week on holiday - is that someone can post something here and then remove it but the damage is done.
I gather from what you write Manna that the critique was "scathing" - fair enough, taste is subjective - but I have no idea what was in it or why it was withdrawn. I find that a bit disappointing. One can't reply to what one hasn't read.
madflowers
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:36 am

Re: Seashell

Post by madflowers »

Manna wrote:
I read his overly scathing review, but I took no part in its being back-lit like that, whoa.
And what a gentle toned backlight was used.Perhaps Michael is in one of his ' bored 'and scathing moods :?:
mickey_one
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Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees

Re: Seashell

Post by mickey_one »

Virginia wrote:Thank you Manna for explaining so generously.
One thing that irks me - having been away for a week on holiday - is that someone can post something here and then remove it but the damage is done.
I gather from what you write Manna that the critique was "scathing" - fair enough, taste is subjective - but I have no idea what was in it or why it was withdrawn. I find that a bit disappointing. One can't reply to what one hasn't read.

I don't agree that damage is done. what do you have in mind? I think anyone can survive a "scathing" crit. on show for an hour or so. the only effect was to bring out protective instincts and praise.

My crit. was fine in itself but not for this forum at this time. in a poetry site like egoless (not sure if it still running btw) it would have been fine but on reflection it didn't fit the mood here so I removed it.

there are 2 broad categories of people here, those who post and wish for no crit. and those who welcome crit.

it's no biggie which anyone belongs to, but a simple sig. stating "only chocolate and (mad) flowers please" might help. I am more than happy to rewrite a crit (didn't keep that one) if you are interested and ok with that

michael (who shares an intial with Manna but nowt else)
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