Search found 88 matches

by jabble524
Sat Sep 18, 2010 7:00 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: A Relationship Is Like a House
Replies: 3
Views: 1494

Re: A Relationship Is Like a House

You are absolutely correct- love is in the eye of the beholder. You made some interesting points which I had not thought of/considered.
by jabble524
Sat Sep 18, 2010 6:55 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Atrophy
Replies: 3
Views: 787

Re: Atrophy

Thanks for taking the time to read and offer feedback. I truly appreciate it. I thought of a lot of different ideas for the title such as "wither, decay, fade away, wasted, etc" however I decided on Atrophy because it is synonymous with the aforementioned words, but also can spell A Trophy if a spac...
by jabble524
Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:04 pm
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Atrophy
Replies: 3
Views: 787

Atrophy

This is an updated version of one of my old poems. Atrophy At first we could barely keep our hands off each other But time is a powerful venom That causes romance to atrophy Soon we could barely stand to touch each other We began to live separate lives Shrouded our hearts in secrecy Veiled our feeli...
by jabble524
Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:01 pm
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Beautiful Hearts
Replies: 3
Views: 940

Re: Beautiful Hearts

I enjoyed this. Love is a mysterious thing. Perhaps never intended to be fully understood.
by jabble524
Wed Sep 15, 2010 6:57 pm
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: A Relationship Is Like a House
Replies: 3
Views: 1494

Re: A Relationship Is Like a House

I really liked the parallel you made to a house- I thought that was a really clever way to describe a relationship. Also, the ending was well done, by switching house and home. Overall, excellent writing. However, I must disagree with the underlying philosophy of your poem. I think a relationship is...
by jabble524
Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:30 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Undertow (Swim Away)
Replies: 6
Views: 984

Re: Undertow (Swim Away)

Thanks. Creatively, I liked the idea for an ending where the character couldn't escape their doom.
by jabble524
Thu Jul 22, 2010 9:06 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Undertow (Swim Away)
Replies: 6
Views: 984

Re: Undertow (Swim Away)

Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to read them. Jealousy is a strange emotion. A little jealousy can be flattering, too much jealousy can be suffocating, all jealously is rooted in insecurity.
by jabble524
Wed Jul 21, 2010 4:34 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Undertow (Swim Away)
Replies: 6
Views: 984

Re: Undertow (Swim Away)

If I was in that situation I would. This poem isn't personally based on my life, I just wanted to poetically explore issues of codependency, and it is easier for me to write from the first person perspective.
by jabble524
Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:18 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Undertow (Swim Away)
Replies: 6
Views: 984

Undertow (Swim Away)

Undertow (Swim Away) You carved out my heart But I sharpened the knife Betrayal turned into control When you begged for forgiveness Sacrificed my dreams and desires Thought I could love you, and you’d change Enabled with love, while reason atrophied Second chances disguised as compassion You could s...
by jabble524
Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:16 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Red Door
Replies: 3
Views: 737

Re: Red Door

I enjoyed this. I liked the idea of falling into someone's eyes and never crawling out. That was a really great image.
by jabble524
Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:12 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Girl in the Box
Replies: 2
Views: 775

Re: Girl in the Box

I liked this. I couldn't help singing Alice in Chains "Man in the Box" when reading it- but it was interesting to hear the story from a female perspective, I like how you used the parallel to magic, that was creative. I enjoyed it.
by jabble524
Thu Jun 24, 2010 8:41 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Denial
Replies: 6
Views: 865

Re: Denial

That is a really interesting way of thinking about vanity. I had not looked at it from that perspective.
by jabble524
Wed Jun 16, 2010 7:39 pm
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Denial
Replies: 6
Views: 865

Re: Denial

I am not sure if it's the point of no return. I just think that vanity is often used as a defense against insecurity. In a strange way, I think that insecurity often evolves into vanity.
by jabble524
Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:10 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Denial
Replies: 6
Views: 865

Re: Denial

I know it's strange, but the punctuation in the first verse is intended as it's written. Personally, I have never been good with poetic structure. The word "cause" probably shouldn't be in there, but I usually listen to music when I write, so in retrospect "cause" probably fit with whatever beat I h...
by jabble524
Thu Jun 10, 2010 9:01 am
Forum: Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members
Topic: Denial
Replies: 6
Views: 865

Denial

Denial I feel the cat’s claws, digging into my tongue When my reflection, asks who I am Cause I never mourned you Just fed you to my shadow Heartbreak led to hedonism Created a cornucopia of denial With neatly decorated lies And cleverly crafted excuses Disenchanted and desensitized Desperately clin...

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