by Laura on Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:28 am
I've been trying to organise my memories and to write some kind of report here, but it doesn't seem to work at all, What can I report about? I don't remember doing anything!
All I can say is that Greece changed me, at least for a while. We are people with strong emotions here-our sadness is bitter and hurting, our happiness is wild and a bit out of control. Even our sea is like that: I never saw the Black Sea without waves, breaking strongly on the shore. In Greece, I felt my feelings were like the sea there. Endless. Calm. Everywhere around. When I was happy and when I was sad, I was dissolving into that, but the feelings didn't cut into me. And, happiness or sadness, I never knew the borders between them exactly-just as I wasn't sure where the sea ends and the sun begins.
For that, I didn't cry when I left Hydra-as I cried when I left Berlin. For that, though, I know that I can't live without going back to Hydra. Somehow, someday (hopefully sooner...).
And for the first time after Hydra I had the courage to look into some hurtful things that have happened into my past. So... medical effect, too!
I was born and lived in a very crowded city. Even now I hear the hundreds of cars out of my open window. I did what I could, I looked for beauty here in the small moments where I could find it-in the smell of linded trees in the night, in listening to the grass and the insects somedays in the park. I looked for beauty all my life, and that's what Hydra is for me, beauty. I never knew before being there how it really is to be really alone with the night and the sea, without hearing someone else's breathing next to you all the time. I didn't know how it is to get to love even the touch of the shiny stones under my feet, because everything, flowers, mountains, stones, seems to be exactly in its right place. I am used with the cars, the city, the noises here, I hardly notice them anymore-but oh, how I miss now those days when I didn't have any cars and noises to ignore!
Sorry everyone, you already know I am a sentimental...
Laura