Thank you for your meditation. What made you write this in 2008?
And thank you for your appreciation.
I actually don't recall why I wrote it just then. Sometimes a poem just comes to one, and I believe this is one of those.
Really, there are so many things I still don't understand, such as why I even came to this forum, or how I even found it or heard about it.
.. eventually, a number of years after writing the poem -- and other poems having to do with Leonard -- I would find myself writing letters to him in the "back room" -- where forum members post their own writing. He was touring then. The whole thing was rather crazy. But then the back room was pretty crazy (as those of us who have spent any time back there know). I remember writing some of my very worst poems back then too (!) (Oh, and hopefully some fairly good ones.)
Anyway, there's more to the story, but it's not for now. For now I guess it's just to take in this loss, and try to heal. If things were less personal then this would be easier to do. I could just appreciate the wonderful work he's given us, and be happy for it. Eventually, I imagine that's where I'll arrive with things. But just now, there are all these layers inside that I have to work through. All these good-byes, I guess.
Thanks again, Z,