Geoffrey ate my rabbit

This is for your own works!!!
Sideways
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby Sideways » Fri Jan 15, 2016 9:37 pm

uh oh, you have another bad case of dem Constipation Blues
yeah, well, errrrm, hum, yeah, ok, I dunno, articulation is not my fing, who cares, SHUT IT YOU MUPPET, blah blah blah
Cate
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby Cate » Fri Jan 15, 2016 10:47 pm

Sideways wrote:uh oh, you have another bad case of dem Constipation Blues
well yes, he ate your damn rabbit. can't you make this man a sandwich when he stops by?
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Boss
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby Boss » Sat Jan 16, 2016 3:19 am

Nah! He don't want boring ol sandwiches. Make him chicken, no perhaps veal parmigiana. Yeah, now that's apt
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Cate
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby Cate » Sat Jan 16, 2016 7:18 am

True, nothing says hospitality like a dead hunk of baby cow covered in cheese.
Sideways
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Re: Geoffrey Cate my baby cow covered in ease

Postby Sideways » Sat Jan 16, 2016 8:49 am

Cate wrote:True, nothing says hospitality like a dead hunk of baby cow covered in cheese.

Who said it would be dead? There you go again - assumin' and presumin'
yeah, well, errrrm, hum, yeah, ok, I dunno, articulation is not my fing, who cares, SHUT IT YOU MUPPET, blah blah blah
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Boss
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby Boss » Sat Jan 16, 2016 2:17 pm

Cate, your delicious sarcasm would have been a complete non event if it were not for the evolution evoked by hunting for probably millions of years. Indeed, we'd all be up some tree on the outskirts of Botswana wondering how to fuck.
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Geoffrey
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby Geoffrey » Mon Jan 18, 2016 3:31 am

the reason why escapes me, but it seems the more rat poison i leave out for the vermin in here, the more they keep coming back for another helping. my insults are simply cheese to this colony of feebleminded rodents. i see no poets here, no figurative language to create images in readers' minds - just embarrassingly banal one-line sentences clinically free of metaphors, similes, wit or intelligence. calling any of you 'cabbage brained' would be a compliment, because in reality not one of you gormless mouthbreathers has a cerebral area bigger than a brussel sprout. i may make an occasional guest appearance in here should the quality of posts drastically improve, otherwise i cannot be associated with such mentally vacant twats.

respectfully
-g
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LisaLCFan
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby LisaLCFan » Mon Jan 18, 2016 5:28 am

Geoffrey wrote:... in reality not one of you gormless mouthbreathers has a cerebral area bigger than a brussel sprout...
That should be "brussels sprout". Please note, all potential readers, and particularly those inclined to pedantry (although I am doubtful as to whether any such individuals actually lurk in these waters), that I am well aware of the fact that the vegetable in question ought to be spelled with a capital "B", as in the city of Brussels. However, I have retained the small "b" in deference to Geoffrey's writing handicap, because one does not want to draw undue attention to his deficiencies for fear of hurting his feelings. After all, it would not be in anyone's best interest to upset a man who eats pet rabbits (or rabbis, for that matter), and thus we should all be extra-careful when discussing Geoffrey, or writing posts that he may happen upon during one of his guest appearances on this forum.
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Boss
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby Boss » Mon Jan 18, 2016 7:21 am

did daddy luv ya, geoffrey?

respectfully
a
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Boss
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Re: Geoffrey ate my rabbit

Postby Boss » Tue Jan 19, 2016 12:54 am

When it's not always raining there'll be days like this
When there's no one complaining there'll be days like this
When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry there'll be days like this
When no one's in a hurry there'll be days like this
When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas curse
Oh my mama told me they'll be days like this

When you don't need an answer there'll be days like this
When you don't meet a chancer there'll be days like this
When all the parts of the puzzle start to look like they fit
And I must remember they'll be days like this

When everyone is up front and they're not playing tricks
When you don't have no freeloaders out to get their kicks
When it's nobody's business the way that you want to live
I just have to remember there'll be days like this

When no one steps on my dreams there'll be days like this
When people understand what I mean there'll be days like this
When you ring out the changes of how everything is
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this

Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this

-- V Morrison in response to L Cohen, for your Servant, 1995
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Sideways
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Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Postby Sideways » Tue Jan 19, 2016 1:20 am

Strange days indeed.....
yeah, well, errrrm, hum, yeah, ok, I dunno, articulation is not my fing, who cares, SHUT IT YOU MUPPET, blah blah blah
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Geoffrey
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Re: A poem of longing by Sideways Sue

Postby Geoffrey » Wed Jan 20, 2016 6:08 am

Dear everyone concerned. Thank you for the very nice attention given to my recent messages. It humbles me to be a member of such a nice crowd of people. It is dark outside, almost four o'clock in the morning, the heart of winter - snowing continually for several days. The sound of snowflakes falling at night is quieter than complete silence; did you know that? Here are a couple of sketches from an old schoolbook, from a time when the art class was instructed to draw ladies who posed for us. Naivety and lack of confidence is very apparent in both of my attempts, but drawings tend to echo the artist's nature - and mine are no exception. Even today I am full of reticence, shy and reserved. Please be kind if you comment upon these pictures, because I do have a fragile self image and need a little encouragement. May you all be blessed with love and good fortune.
elaine & ingrid.jpg
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LisaLCFan
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Re: A poem of longing by Sideways Sue

Postby LisaLCFan » Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:28 am

Geoffrey wrote:... Here are a couple of sketches from an old schoolbook...
Those are lovely and delicate, Geoffrey. Nicely done!

Are the above words sufficient to stroke your fragile ego, or must I wax poetically for another few sentences to demonstrate my admiration for your efforts? I know that you appreciate excessive verbosity and scorn those of few words, but it is not always necessary to provide protracted discourse simply to say that something is nice and that we like it. Besides, if one prattles on with expansive praise, it can reach the point where it goes beyond genuine appreciation and becomes something more akin to fawning ingratiation, which is embarrassing for everyone involved. Alternatively, overly demonstrative compliments on your artwork may reflect nothing more than disingenuous flattery, not authentic admiration, delivered with sarcasm rather than sincerity.

In cases such as this, dealing with you, Geoffrey, and your artwork, perhaps one ought to follow the advice of Aristotle (an ancient Greek philosopher, for those who may not know). He suggested that every potential action exists on a continuum with excessiveness at one end and deficiency at the other, and that in each circumstance, one must use all of the knowledge and wisdom they possess in order to determine where on the continuum their action should lie. Therefore, considering your insecure nature, Geoffrey, the best course of action with regards to tendering the appropriate amount of praise for your work would probably lean towards the excessive side of things. Therefore, I shall add to what I originally wrote above, and say:

Your sketches capture the very essence of feminine beauty to such a remarkable extent that even the most heterosexual of women (or the most homosexual of men) may find themselves attracted to the images of these two ladies whom you have presented in such a breathtaking and sublime manner because of the immense skill with which you are able to wield with a pencil.
Sideways
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Re: A poem of longing by Sideways Sue

Postby Sideways » Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:36 am

LisaLCFan wrote:
Geoffrey wrote:... Here are a couple of sketches from an old schoolbook...
Those are lovely and delicate, Geoffrey. Nicely done!

Are the above words sufficient to stroke your fragile ego, or must I wax poetically for another few sentences to demonstrate my admiration for your efforts? I know that you appreciate excessive verbosity and scorn those of few words, but it is not always necessary to provide protracted discourse simply to say that something is nice and that we like it. Besides, if one prattles on with expansive praise, it can reach the point where it goes beyond genuine appreciation and becomes something more akin to fawning ingratiation, which is embarrassing for everyone involved. Alternatively, overly demonstrative compliments on your artwork may reflect nothing more than disingenuous flattery, not authentic admiration, delivered with sarcasm rather than sincerity.

In cases such as this, dealing with you, Geoffrey, and your artwork, perhaps one ought to follow the advice of Aristotle (an ancient Greek philosopher, for those who may not know). He suggested that every potential action exists on a continuum with excessiveness at one end and deficiency at the other, and that in each circumstance, one must use all of the knowledge and wisdom they possess in order to determine where on the continuum their action should lie. Therefore, considering your insecure nature, Geoffrey, the best course of action with regards to tendering the appropriate amount of praise for your work would probably lean towards the excessive side of things. Therefore, I shall add to what I originally wrote above, and say:

Your sketches capture the very essence of feminine beauty to such a remarkable extent that even the most heterosexual of women (or the most homosexual of men) may find themselves attracted to the images of these two ladies whom you have presented in such a breathtaking and sublime manner because of the immense skill with which you are able to wield with a pencil.
Awesome (Awesome Wells - another "an ancient Greek philosopher, for those who may not know").
yeah, well, errrrm, hum, yeah, ok, I dunno, articulation is not my fing, who cares, SHUT IT YOU MUPPET, blah blah blah
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LisaLCFan
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Re: A poem of longing by Sideways Sue

Postby LisaLCFan » Fri Jan 22, 2016 12:11 am

Sideways wrote:Awesome.
Thank you, indeed, but Geoffrey seems to have been awed into silence as a result. It is understandable, of course, that even one as articulate as Geoffrey could be at a loss for words after receiving such an insightful and erudite response to his need for positive affirmation. After all, he has recently characterised this forum as being filled with "feeble-minded, mentally vacant twats," and thus I am sure that once he has had time to process the fact that intelligent life does actually exist here, he will recover and return to us with his usual wit and charm.

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