"Every heart, every heart to love will come, but like a refugee." So slow, lord. So painfully slow.
13th of July, 2011.
Jackie, the last time we saw each other was on the 7th of October, 1994. We were in a courtroom. Some things change over time, but some things never do. Although we've lived separate lives for what seems like an eternity, I still love you very much. I know I always will. You see there is something very special about you Jackie - something beautiful, spirited and courageous. You are equal, but so different. You are defiant, yet true. In all my days, it is only your smile I see. It is only your love.
We had our share of good times, especially in the early years, but I made big mistakes. I hurt you. I was young and I was after anything to feed my ego. I partied on with my mates, I read too much religion and psychology and I was unfaithful. I didn't appreciate the beauty that was right in front of my eyes. I didn't confide in you and I didn't let you discover my heart - I hardly discovered yours. I wouldn't express my love. I treated you badly. I do understand your disaffection for me; your resentment. I have paid dearly for my selfishness and I reckon you have paid for it, too. I am so sorry - I really am. I realise we have a broken history; it cuts in deep. You must wonder why I still bother. The answer is simple - I have hope. And in my heart I still believe in the healing power of love. I still believe you can forgive and I still believe so much, in us. I trust in G-d that you see fit to come back to me. And when you do, I will love you honestly and with a passion. We will know adventure and we will see peace.
I love you Jackie,
Freedom is coming.