Without You

[Martine]

Boss/Adam - always an interesting read.
Good to see you here again.

Lizzy - so very sorry to read of your loss.

Martine
xx

[lizzytysh]

Thank you so much, Martine. When I saw your name, my thought was "Martine !!!"

[Boss]

Ladies.

-----

The man who purports to know all of G-d is a fraud.
The man who believes in none of it is an ignoramus.
The man who lives within these limits is a champion.

Enjoy the Sabbath,
Boss

[lizzytysh]

oh.... i like that... a LOT

spot on from my perspective

[Boss]

Lizzy, I took a moment to imagine this forum without you - what I saw was a scary picture indeed. Such a ragged place LCF would be. Such a stony, barren place. Lizzy, you are like mortar; connected to and holding together the bricks. Occasionally impulsive like any good woman; you are an essential element, the adventure of it all. Dogged and determined. Inquisitive, participatory, kind. G-d bless you, Lizzy. I know I was a bit brash in the past. I'm sorry for it. I was younger. I was angry. I make mistakes.

Mistake
you unloved tramp
injured
exiled

Mistake
you teach me
reconsider
doubt

Miztake
you're other people's
invented
overdue

Mistake
you are involved
evolution
religion

Nistake
you're a warning
pre-emptive
corrective

Mistake
you are wayward
imperfect
human

Mistake
I forgive you
.

[lizzytysh]

As I know you can imagine, this was a totally unexpected message from you, Adam.
Totally unexpected.
Thank you for your very supportive, kind, and loving thoughts.
Of course, there are others here who have filled in whatever gaps you perceive would exist.
You'd just have to be coming here more regularly to recognize them.
Still, you deeply warm my heart with your appreciation and willingness to openly express it.
In all areas here, as everywhere, it's true what they say... all we can rely on is change.
So, there have been changes... yet, I'll be here until I can't be anywhere.
Again, thank you for the sweetness and substance of your apology and comments, Adam.
It's good you're glad to see me.
Would love to see you be here more often.

Your tribute to mistakes is fitting for all of us [in life], and wonderful to read as I see myself in it.


Love,
Lizzy
Your longtime friend xoxox

[Boss]

"Every heart, every heart to love will come, but like a refugee." So slow, lord. So painfully slow.

13th of July, 2011.

Jackie, the last time we saw each other was on the 7th of October, 1994. We were in a courtroom. Some things change over time, but some things never do. Although we've lived separate lives for what seems like an eternity, I still love you very much. I know I always will. You see there is something very special about you Jackie - something beautiful, spirited and courageous. You are equal, but so different. You are defiant, yet true. In all my days, it is only your smile I see. It is only your love.

We had our share of good times, especially in the early years, but I made big mistakes. I hurt you. I was young and I was after anything to feed my ego. I partied on with my mates, I read too much religion and psychology and I was unfaithful. I didn't appreciate the beauty that was right in front of my eyes. I didn't confide in you and I didn't let you discover my heart - I hardly discovered yours. I wouldn't express my love. I treated you badly. I do understand your disaffection for me; your resentment. I have paid dearly for my selfishness and I reckon you have paid for it, too. I am so sorry - I really am. I realise we have a broken history; it cuts in deep. You must wonder why I still bother. The answer is simple - I have hope. And in my heart I still believe in the healing power of love. I still believe you can forgive and I still believe so much, in us. I trust in G-d that you see fit to come back to me. And when you do, I will love you honestly and with a passion. We will know adventure and we will see peace.

I love you Jackie,
Adam

[lizzytysh]

Oh, Adam... this letter just tears my heart. It's because I feel it for you and it resonates with me. Is this a letter that you actually sent? Do you know how to reach Jackie? What do you know of her? Damn. If I had the power... I would exercise it toward bringing you two into one place where you might be able to work it out together. Especially painful, this situation, when you finally realize that our purpose in being here is to love. You're so bare in your explicitness of that cavalier attitude of youth that can prevent an authentic relationship from ever happening in the first place. I wish you Jackie.

xox

[Boss]

Thanks for your note Lizzy. It's nice you care. I know a little of Jackie. I know she is still angry; that she probably hates my guts. I know she probably doesn't believe in me. I know the future bears down on her but she probably ignores it. And I know she loves me.

Boss

ps. I read the letter out on Melbourne and Sydney radio.

[imaginary friend]

ps. Boss Wrote:
I read the letter out on Melbourne and Sydney radio.

That made me smile Big Time (still smiling as I type)

[Boss]

Thank you, Imaginary - I smiled right back.

Doubt is part of all religions. All the religious thinkers were doubters.
Isaac Bashevis Singer

I'll see you down the line,
Adam

[Boss]

I laugh at nothing
in particular.
At an old dream
kept in formaldehyde
in an ancient cupboard.
This dream it soars
into every spot of day.
It fondles the firmament
with bent buckled arms
and lethal tipped talons.
It's all information
a Yellow Page scroll
the Internet slipstream
of Wiki and Googs.
It asks foxy questions
like when and why Sabbath
of the love and the hate
on a book's disparate page.
The one that I bought
between hospital spells
that bloodbath I owned
of neurons and gnash.
Driving down Punt
anxious, afraid
spic and span shop
Carlisle, St. Kilda.
So close to the bay
where prostitutes go
where Sunday is ripe
and Luna Park stands.
My Dad doused me in
the street market scene
when I struggled about
as a boy.

So I ponder economy
morality on the blink.
The black rhino shot
for a lady in China.
I see all the war and
the famines unfold.
A victim's mistrust of
a billionaire.

I say to my G-d
'It is bad, it's enough'
He pensively answers
'Your dream cannot fail
in the Love it is calling.
For there it's the fuel of
the morrow.'

And I know in my heart
I must fight

-----

Shabbat Shalom,
Boss

[Boss]

Jeremiah rant

You can't know
you never believed
your god too patriotic
to be a perfect truth
to understand growth
in your enemy's field
to believe in mercy
the one always there
at your fingertips
in your pedigree

You can't know
you didn't love
you couldn't
you were blinded
by your duty
by what you heard
in your order
and precision
your all important dogma
polluting up my day

You can't know
because of you
the scene is gonna burst
your old excuse all broken
your money will not pay
your talkers lying big time
the judgement's gonna fall
on you and over us
the mess you cannot clean
you so much screwed it up

[Gullivor]

Hi Boss,

I have not been on this forum for awhile now. I have got married and lost my artistic depression. I battle in the world. I can not write anything. I can relate but not feel. A part of me is gone...for now.

Heard this the other day and thought of you!
http://youtu.be/jmOuMudZt0I

God Bless and take care,
Gully

P.S Your "Ward South 7" is my favorite! Brings back to me many affectionate memories.

[Boss]

So here we are now, and only a few believe in a word I say.
Yes here we are, the other side of fate comin' on in.

Here we are darling, as alone as we could ever be.