Without You

[Boss]

It's been too long
Don't want it no more
Ain't got the passion
nor discipline
Nothin' no more
Too long outside this
drowning world
Too ignorant to know
that only fools get rich
that poverty will die
that children believe
that sometimes we cry
Better to let it
unfold on Telly
A gutless
bystander
My predictable
excuse
My out of order
plans
My stubborn
refusal

I hardly remember
your smile

[lizzytysh]

It's SO really good to see you here, Boss.

Have you really gone this far to the other side of fate??
Never thought you'd see the day... did you; and had me thinking the same.

How have you been overall?

[Boss]

Lizzy, thanks for the reply.
Overall, I can't complain. How are you?

Boss

[lizzytysh]

I'm doing 'okay,' Adam.
Lost my Mom last summer and have nowhere near accepted it, yet.
A more profound loss than I would or could ever have imagined.
Wish I knew how to write poetry.
Thanks for asking.

[Boss]

Dear Lizzy, I am saddened. There is no feeling like losing a loved one. All the poetry in the world, all the words, can only do so much to relieve the pain, the emptiness, the confusion. A friend of mine used to say that those who passed had 'gone to God'. Maybe he was right, Lizzy. Maybe we are reunited. You have memories, rich memories of your Mom. Let these keep you, let them bring you solace, let them remind you of her strength, her courage. A mother is a special person; going by your vivacious, friendly soul, yours must have been top shelf.

Lizzy, let your tears flow, express your sadness and do it all over.

In peace,
Boss

[lizzytysh]

Thanks for your very kind, loving, and understanding words, Adam.
In so many ways, my Mom was top shelf. Regardless of your measure, thank you for coming to the truth of your conclusion.
My beliefs in the afterlife have never been so challenged as they have been with and since her loss.
Whether there is one has never been so important to me and, I guess because of that, neither have I ever been so uncertain.

You're so right on how so many things just seem in vain. It will be a year on July 23. With that in mind, I'm trying to be lenient with myself. It feels like forever and it feels like yesterday.

Thanks for your understanding, Adam.


All love,
Lizzy

[Boss]

Lizzy, my older brother took his life on July 23, 1986. In some ways this poem is a tribute to him, in other ways it is a warning to the world.

If you have nothing

If you:

think you get it
think you are it
are rational
are secure
are satisfied
earn a lot of money
own expensive jewellery
wear correct fashion
catch aeroplanes often
have tickets on yourself
have no issues
have power
have it together
have it all
do not care
do not cry
do not suffer
do not see poverty

I don't want you

If you:

know pain
know abandonment
know unjust laws
know unjust men
are powerless
are hungry
are poor
are lonely
are lost
are broken
are afraid
are misunderstood
are crazy
are last
have been hurt
have been cast aside
have suffered
have nothing

I want you

.

[Boss]

To my old man

I sit on the couch
awaiting the most
colossal event.
A day when the
weak rejuvenate
when losers win
when food is free
when the truth is
heard.

And I remember
your doubt,

but do it anyway.

---

So long,
Boss

[imaginary friend]

Hey Boss,

Lovely to see you here again.

XO

[Boss]

Imaginary, be the coolest you can be, sister.

Jackie, this is for you:

We must talk it's getting late
Can't you feel the rising hate?
Time it runs away like water
Just stand by me that's an order!
In the years we shared a bed
All your peaks and valleys said
That my kiss could not be surer
Just stand by me that's an order!
We were holy, we were young
Then the lord inside me stung
We could have had a daughter
Just stand by me that's an order!
The two of us unfaithful
And kind of not that grateful
But forgiveness has no border
Just stand by me that's an order!
Our break up was so ugly
It meant you had to hate me
Jaded pride in both our corners
Just stand by me that's an order!
Then you took the highest bid
He can't know you like I did
Our love written in the Torah
Just stand by me that's an order!
I have waited for so long
But of this I can't be wrong
I'm your number one supporter
Just stand by me that's an order!
I can't do this thing alone
It's the rules, they're set in stone
You are strong, you have the aura
Just stand by me that's an order!
In this love there is a way
Be my sweetheart from today
I will hold ya', I'll restore ya'
Just stand by me that's an order!
When the underdog is free
You'll be doing time with me
Things will open up before ya'
Just stand by me that's an order!
In a world at peace in G-d
We'll be busy on the job
Two courageous co-explorers
Just stand by me that's an order!
It is twenty years by now
Since we followed any vow
Still I walk the line toward ya'
Just stand by me that's an order!

- Thanks to LC for the help with some lines

Good Shabbos,
Boss

[Boss]

There is a light
in the future
It flickers bravely
in the black
It is small and
only dim
But it grows
every moment
a little brighter
a little brighter

Be unafraid
of seeking it
For it is love
setting sail
into victory

[Boss]

I click on
Yad Vashem
Look up
my surname
my uncle's
Study awhile
I hate it

Polish winter
ghetto stench
Yiddish noise
gaping hunger
frantic orphan
steal, bemoan
die.
Train journey
jam packed
angry words
frozen hands
rabbi prays
fear, squalor
loss.
Death camp
barbed wire
weeping girl
shaved head
gas chamber
corpse, oven
ash.

Vengeance

------

The above poem was difficult to write and difficult to submit. Mass murder has been a part of our world for a long time - my poem about the Shoah is one example; it could have been Hiroshima, it could have been the Western Front, it could have been the complete genocide of the Tasmanian Aborigines. Unfortunately, this scourge still exists. There will be a day, and it will be soon, where life is sacrosanct. There will be no war, there will be no killing and there will be no abortion.
.

[lizzytysh]

Hi Adam ~

First, it's great to have your poems here all in one thread to read at will. I''ve always liked their structure, with their short lines and punch-y thoughts, statements, questions, conclusions.

Somehow, the response that was evoked when I first read "If you have nothing," never made it to the page, which I thought it had! Those who assume their own perfection are too often quite insufferable. The humanity that you describe in your second set of lines speak to the humanity in us that makes us real. Even if one might say they've never been depressed, it's really hard to believe, but maybe that's just the perspective of someone who has been.

Love how you embrace what many might consider the underdog.


~ Lizzy

[lizzytysh]

"To my old man" speaks to your resilience against the influence of your father. I've forgotten whether there were 'issues' with him, or something about his presence in your life, but it seems there was something. Would appreciate knowing that to further contextualize your poem. You've shown a lot of strength in various ways across time here. This is one of them, as you tenaciously held to your own optimism and hope about life. It's sometimes all we have.

Need to go some places right now, so will comment on your other poems later.

It's great to see you here, again.


~ Lizzy

[lizzytysh]

Your last one is intense and spot on... that's all I can say right now.
Made two trips to Auschwitz-Birkenau to experience at a different level what has always impacted me emotionally, since being a teenager.
Contacted Yad Vashem to get a memento that supports the Museum.
Am interested to hear about your surname, if you'd care to share the details.


~ Lizzy